Every Little Thing
by carryvoices
Summary: Now that Craig's a rockstar everyone is impressed...except Ashley. Unfortunately she's the only that can save his career. Fortunately he's the only one who can save her from her dark past that she's been secretly hiding. Some Sparcy and Sellie as well.
1. Ticket To Ride

Chapter 1 "Ticket To Ride"

_I think I'm gonna be sad,  
I think it's today, yeah.  
The girl that's driving me mad  
Is going away._

She's got a ticket to ride,  
She's got a ticket to ride,  
She's got a ticket to ride,  
But she don't care.

She said that living with me  
Is bringing her down yeah.  
For she would never be free  
When I was around.

The smell of burnt bacon and coffee lingered out into the balcony as Craig smoked a cigarette. He had forgotten how much he missed Toronto and even in the daytime the skyline from his hotel room looked incredible. As he took a last puff he came to realize how much of a fool he had been when it came to his finances. He was almost flat broke and with his indie label merging with a big corporate record company he feared getting dropped. His first record was not a huge smash but at least it was certified gold, selling an impressive 118,000 copies in Canada and the US. However his last cd wasn't doing so well and after partying, drinking, and getting back into drugs his label had warned him that if he didn't clean up his act they would have to let him go. He was meeting with the new VP of CW Music and some more execs later on to discuss his future. "Craig! Are you coming in? You're food is gonna get cold!" Manny shouted. The thought of Manny's cooking made his stomach turn. She pulled out a chair and placed a plate full of food on the table. "Breakfast is served," she said trying to sound all fancy motioning for him to sit down. "You really didn't have to cook. They have room service you know. They have the most amazing French toast…' he replied looking at the burnt bacon, runny eggs, and pancakes that were swimming in maple syrup. He could see her face grimace. "What?" he said smiling as he had done nothing wrong. "I was trying to do something nice for you." "Well we all know you're not the best of cooks," Craig sarcastically added grabbing the newspaper nearby. "That's not funny. Why do you always have to be such an ass? I'm only in town for a few days. I'm starting to think you're just taking advantage of me," she cried. Although Manny was getting on his nerves, he did start to feel a little bad. For years they had been off and on again until finally settling on just being friends with benefits. It wasn't official or anything but it was pretty much unspoken and Craig liked it that way. Unfortunately he was starting to get the feeling that Manny was hoping for something more. Maybe she was right. Maybe all he cared about was the sex. "Sorry. Thank you for making me breakfast. It looks delicious," he said pulling her close into his lap and kissing her on the forehead. "If you think you're just gonna sweet talk me than forget about it," she replied pouting, trying to pretend she didn't care. He began to kiss her this time on the lips and then slowly moved down to her neck. "Stop it! That tickles," she laughed. They continued to kiss and eventually winded up into the bed. "Damn it this wasn't supposed to be happening", he thought to himself. Maybe she was right. Maybe all he was doing was using her for sex.

After they had finished their little rendezvous Craig looked at his watch. It was 11:30 am. He needed to be Downtown for his meeting in 20 minutes. Manny was reheresing lines very loudly for a new play she was auditioning for while doing her hair. Craig shook his head in annoyance and grabbed a clean shirt to put on. He hated to keep stringing her along but he at the same time he didn't want to hurt her feelings. "Manny I've go to go. I'm late for my meeting," he replied enetering the bathroom "Craig, do you love me?" she asked as she looked at him standing behind her in the mirror. Craig knew where she was going with this. He didn't exactly know the answer the question himself. He hated to see the worried look in her eye. "Manny, I can't talk about this right now. I'm late. We can talk over dinner. I'll call you later," he said kissing her on the cheek and running out.


	2. I Saw Her Standing There

Chapter 2 "I Saw Her Standing There"

_And the way she looked was way beyond compare.  
So how could I dance with another (ooh)  
When I saw her standin' there._

Well she looked at me, and I, I could see  
That before too long I'd fall in love with her.

The sound of Toronto traffic was buzzing in the streets as Craig dashed across a busy intersection. He had just gotten out of a meeting with his lawyer, his manager, and a few record executives. His worse fear had come true. He was getting dropped from his label. The record company decided to part ways with Craig Manning after they had learned he had trashed not one but two hotel rooms a few weeks ago. Although Craig had no recollection of what happened he suspected it was the night he had decided to stop taking his medication which resulted in one of his horrible bipolar episodes. Not to mention his lastest album wasn't doing well at all and the critics said he had lost his spark. There was no depth or inspiration on the new record and even he agreed with that. The label decided to offer him a lump sum of money and an old recording studio to walk away from his eight figure deal they had prematurely offered him. He agreed without even consulting his lawyers and decided to fire them after which he told them all to go to hell. He raced through the streets trying to figure out how everything got so bad. If he hadn't been so stupid he might still have a record deal and all his dreams would have come true. Maybe he wasn't meant to be a musician. Maybe he was supposed to get a normal job, get married, and have a family. Hell, Manny would make a horrible mother he thought chuckling to himself. "Maybe it is time to settle down and get serious" he mumbled to himself. Maybe I should ask her to marry me. After all I've known her since high school.' He said to himself. "God if you're out there give me a sign. I mean a really huge sign," he shouted waving his fists into the air. A few people in the street looked at him as if he were crazy. He felt a little weird and even a bit silly. "Well thanks a lot God!" he replied walking over to the nearby hot dog stand. At least if he couldn't get any answers from the big guy upstairs he could at get a delicious hot dog with all the works. As he took a bite of his food he noticed a tall woman taking photos of a huge church in the distance. She looked somewhat familiar. 'Wait a minute..I know that girl,' he thought. 'It can't be! is that Ashley Kerwin?"

She was even more beautiful than he last remembered her. She looked absolutely gorgeous. He laughed a little bit to himself seeing as she was wearing a black beret which kind of reminded him of Mary Tyler Moore. She was also wearing a red vintage dress. Much like the one the night they had performed together at his very last high school dance. She looked lovely. She looked perfect. She was Ashley. He wanted to go over and talk to her but what would he say? What would she do? He was pretty sure she hated him. He had used one of her songs for his first record and technically forgot to credit her in the liner notes. It was simply a printing error as he liked to coin the term but still he had been too lazy to have it corrected officially. He stood there frozen, haunted by the past when she seemed to notice him staring as she hailed a taxi cab. Did she recognize him? Maybe she was looking at someone else he thought. His suspicions proved false as she waved seeming a little shocked and gave him a slight smile. He waved back. There were a few seconds of delay where they both just stared at one another which seemed like an eternity.. All of sudden, 

the taxi that pulled up earlier for her honked, a sign for her to hurry up. Startled she hopped in looking back at him. He didn't know how or when but he had to see her again.


	3. Get Back

Chapter 3 "Get Back"

_Get back, get back.  
Get back to where you once belonged  
Get back, get back.  
Get back to where you once belonged._

"I saw him. I saw Craig today," Ashley said pulling off her shoes as she entered her townhouse. He had been on her mind all afternoon and she was dying to tell Paige all about it. "Who? Craig Manning? You're kidding?! Doesn't he live in Vancouver now with all the other pretentious Canadian celebs?" asked Paige bringing her a cup of coffee. The two had recently moved in together after starting up a PR firm which planned some of the hottest events for young twenty-somethings around Toronto. Although they both collaborated creatively on the events, Paige dealt more with the customers and financial side of the buisness while Ashley handled the actual execution and preparation for the events." I wouldn't exactly call Craig Manning a celeb," Ashley replied taking a sip and hopping onto the couch. She did have to admit he had done quite well for himself. She had seen him perform on CTV's annual Halloween Special a few weeks ago singing some awful commercialized song. "Well I mean he is a bigger celeb than 'Miss Manny Santos, Movie of The Week'. So dish. How did he look?" Paige curiously inquired sitting next to her. "Better than I thought he would. I mean he looks good Paige. Real good," she added unaware of the huge smile across her face. Paige rolled her eyes. "Seriously hun, no one who stole one of my songs could ever look that good. You could seriously sue him." Ashley laughed. She barely had enough money to pay her rent let alone file a lawsuit against Craig. "No really. He put a retraction on his website a few months after the cd came out,' she said defending him. "So you were on his website?" Paige asked raising an eyebrow smirking. "No. I just heard it around the way from Marco or something a while ago. Besides its just the universe's way of paying me back for what I did to Jimmy," she added.

Ashley thought back to a year ago when she and Jimmy were planning their upcoming nuptials. The couple had been through it all, bad break ups, jealousy, and betrayal and they had almost beat it. They were so happy and in love or so she thought. "Hun, you can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to Jimmy. You supported him through his dozen careers over the years. You gave up the music business and your career for him. You were going to be a stay at home mom. What else could you do?" she reasoned biting down on a biscotti. That question seemed to haunt Ashley everyday. For so long she had kept her secret life with Jimmy under wraps. Sometimes she just wish she could tell someone the truth. "I think you should call Craig," she told her. Ashley looked at her as if she were crazy. "What for?" she asked. " I don't know closure. I mean I called Spinner when I found out he got engaged," Paige replied. "Yeah and Darcy flipped out and went pyscho," Ashley added. She laughed a little to herself remembering the day Darcy busted into their office screaming at the top of her lungs demanding to know why Paige's number was on Spinner's most recent called list. "Now see the old Paige would have gone straight into cat fight mode but luckily with my PR skills, I convinced her to let us plan their wedding for a special discounted price. Their wedding is the ticket to finally getting us out of the red. The universe has a weird way of working things out Ash. Its no small coincidence you saw Craig Manning today," she said grabbing another biscotti. "Oh and by the way Spin's having his engagement party this weekend so I already called Marco and he has the perfect dress for you already picked out." Ashley jumped up. "There's no way I'm going to his engagement party. You know I hate huge crowds," she told her somewhat frightened. "Its been over a year since Jimmy died. Its time for you to get out and socialize." "I do socialize," Ashley snarled back. "Hun, drinks with me and Marco at the local pub don't count. I think it'd do you some good ," Paige suggested rubbing her shoulder. Maybe Paige was right. The only times Ashley ever went 

out were either for work or family related events or to buy groceries. Her life was rather depressing and lonely once she thought about it. And besides Spinner was only of Jimmy's good friends she reasoned. "Well maybe I'll go...but just for a little bit," she mumbled. "Perfect!" Paige squealed hugging her.

--

Craig sat in his Range Rover contemplating whether or not to go inside The Dot. It had been years since he had seen or been in this place and for some reason, perhaps the weight of losing almost everything he had loved dearly was getting to him. _You should be happy for Spinner_. he thought. But the truth was he wasn't. Although he would never admit it anyone he envied his once good friend. Spinner had grown up a lot over the years and was now the manager and owner of The Dot which had turned into an upscale Bistro and Grill. He had also recently rekindled his romance with Darcy after seeking refuge at a local church during Jimmy's tragic accident. Craig wondered why some people who were once were able to forgive one another and give love a second try while others like he and Ashley just simply gave up. She had been his mind a lot lately since seeing her downtown a few days ago. He had googled her the second he got home to see what she was up to these days but found very little information on her personal life. He did however discover she was an event cooridinator and was apparently buisness partners with Paige Michalchuk. Upon visiting the site, he noticed listed under the events scheduled was Spinner and Darcy's wedding. He didn't think much of it seeing as he hadn't spoken to Spinner in a few years until Joey called him letting Craig know he had received a engagement party invitation at his house. As he gripped the invitation in his hand, his cell phone beeped, an indication he had a message. "Hey Craig, its me Manny. Baby I've got some bad news. I'm not gonna be able to come to Darcy and Spinner's thing tonight. I'm flying out to New York for a movie audition tomorrow. Sorry its short notice but I'll be back on Monday. Love you baby!" Craig cringed at the message but at least he didn't have to deal with Manny for a few days. "You can do this. You're Craig Manning!" he said pointing to himself in the rear view mirror. He opened up his glove compartment and pulled out a flask which was filled with vodka. He took a long drink and put on his sunglasses and headed inside.

As Craig entered The Dot, he was amazed to see all the changes that had been made. It was hardly upscale by his definition but it certainly was a vast improvement from the last time he was in there. The booths now had marble tabletops along with delicate paper lanterns hanging above for lighting and the walls were adorned with edgy paintings done by local artists around town. There was now even a private bar in an adjoining room for late night drinks after all the high school kids would long be gone to bed. Craig entered the private room filled with people and boring classical music. "Can someone get this man out of here? No rockstars allowed!" Spinner shouted jokingly walking over and hugging Craig. " Aww shut up! This place looks great man," Craig added still looking around. "Thanks. Dude I so didn't expect you to be here. Darcy did the invitations and all and practically invited all of Toronto. So dude how have you been?" Spinner asked heading behind the bar to pour them some drinks."Well good and not so good. I left my label. And now I'm flat broke. Not sure I want to get back in the whole music business right now," Craig revealed. "Well that's too bad cause Darcy was hoping you'd perform. She's like your biggest fan. She plays your lastest cd constantly."Well she's the only one. Hell do me a favor and burn that cd," Craig suggested. He was now feeling a little buzzed. Just then Darcy walked up and kissed Spinner. Craig almost wanted to throw up. The sight of their lovey dovey-ness was more than he could bare. "Sorry Craig. Of course you know Darcy," he said grinning ear to ear. "Spin, you didn't tell me we were going to have 'The Craig Manning' here. So does this mean you're gonna perform?" she asked all perky.

" Maybe if I have a few more of these I could work something out," he suggested taking a another drink. "He'll keep em' coming while I'll go get the mic and set up the sound system." She said running off. "Baby he doesn't even have a guitar!" Spinner shouted. "I'll find one," she yelled back. "So tell me that totally wasn't planned?" Craig joked as Spinner laughed. "You can't control anything a woman does. Oh and don't look now but Ashley Kerwin just walked through the door," Spinner announced pointing. Craig suddenly felt like a poor little school girl. He kept drinking to hide his true nature at the moment. Paige and Ashley entered the room as Darcy greeted them and showed them to the _Hors d'Oeuvres table_. She looked even more beautiful from the last time he saw her out on the street before. He decided at that very moment he had to speak to her and wouldn't let the opportunity slip away like he had atthe last time. "Earth to Craig!" Spinner said waving his hand in front of Craig. Craig felt a little stupid and goofy all at once. "Dude do you need a towel to wipe up all that drowl on your chin?" he asked laughing. "Ha Ha! Very funny. Its just been a long time since I saw her. How's she been?" " I don't know why don't you go and ask her yourself. Seriously this isn't high school," he said snatching Craig's drink. "You're right this isn't high school. Besides I'm freakin' Craig Manning. I'm a freakin' rockstar! She should be dying to speak to me!" he said getting up from the bar stool.


	4. Help

Chapter 4 "Help"

_Help, I need somebody,  
Help, not just anybody,  
Help, you know I need someone, help._

When I was younger, so much younger than today,  
I never needed anybody's help in any way.  
But now these days are gone, I'm not so self assured,  
Now I find I've changed my mind and opened up the doors.

Help me if you can, I'm feeling down  
And I do appreciate you being round.  
Help me, get my feet back on the ground,  
Won't you please, please help me.

"I can't believe you dragged me to this thing Paige. God, look at how many people are here" Ashley whispered as Paige piled her plate with goodies from the buffet table. "Stop whining Ashley. Seriously relax and just take it easy," she replied stuffing some shrimp in her mouth. That was easy for you to say, Ashley thought. As Paige chowed down and made random small talk with Darcy's mom about the wedding plans, Ashley sat down nearby. She recognized a few people from Degrassi who she thought about walking up to but decided it against it since they would just bring up Jimmy. She decided the best escape from the small crowd would be the bathroom. She stood in front of the mirror and fixed her hair when all of a sudden Darcy busted into the bathroom. "You'll never guess who's here! Craig Manning!" she screamed. "Its like a dream come true! This is such great publicity for the Dot and not to mention my wedding! This could even be in the tabloids" she gushed."You've got to be kidding me," Ashley mumbled aloud in a state of shock. "And that's a bad thing. Oh…now I remember he cheated on you and stole your song… well at least you're lucky enough to have dated a rockstar," Darcy said leaving. All of a sudden Ashley's stomach started to hurt. She needed to find Paige quick. There was no way she was going to stay at the party if Craig was there. She head back to the buffet table where Paige was still adding more food to her now huge plate. "Paige, we've got to go. Craig's here and I wanna leave before he sees me," she said tapping her on the shoulder. "Hun, too late for that cause he seems to be walking over here right now," Paige replied. "Oh my God. This is so embrassing," Ashley said nervously. "Well so much for playing it off cool. Don't worry you look great and so do the twins. They're very perky tonight," she added adjusting Ashley's shirt. "Paige!" she yelled slapping her hand as Craig came closer. _How do guys do it. He looks so calm while I'm over here about to implode out of sheer nervousness_? she thought. "Well well speak of the devil," Paige said trying to clear the air. Ashley was glad Paige spoke first which was maybe a small gesture so she collect herself. "Paige still sharp as ever with those words," Craig said looking at Ashley although he was talking to Paige. "Always have been. If you two will excuse me I need to attack the cheese buffet before Heather Sinclaire eats all the Havarti again," she said walking away. Ashley could immediately feel Craig's eyes all over her and she didn't like it.

"So how have you been?" he asked trying to make some light conversation. "Good. I think I saw I you the other day like at 12th and Porter," she replied trying to make things not awkward. "Yeah I thought I saw you too. I even thought about calling you,' he suggested laughing cynically. It was almost reminiscent of Heath Ledger's portrayal of the Joker. "Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?" she asked a slightly angry. "No but did you know I 

still think about you? But you know what? You were really mean. You dumped me and then I was hurt. Very very hurt. You always run away when things get hard. Its all about Ashley! Well guess what?! Now I'm a rockstar and people know me. I was in Spin magazine Ashley! And sometimes Manny still let's me touch her boobs" he replied seeming amused. Ashley slapped him and he almost fell to the ground. "That was NOT nice!" Craig yelled back. She felt a little embarrassed as everyone began to stare. _Maybe that was a little harsh_, she reasoned. She held out her hand to help him up and he reluctantly took it. Ashley leaned in closer. Craig smelled like he had wasted a few bottles of booze on his clothes. "You've got to be kiddin me! You're drunk," she shouted. "Shh! I'm not drunk I'm high off of life!" he softly replied and then snickering. "After all this time you still haven't changed. Look I'm sorry I slapped you and all but let's just keep things the way they were. You go your way and I'll go mine. Nice seeing you and have a good life," she said walking off.

She needed to get away. Breathe and just get some fresh air. She walked across the street and sat down on a bench and put her head in her hands. She hated feeling sorry him but in the back of her mind she knew what he said had some truth in it. When things got hard or were too complicated she walked away. In some ways she blamed herself for how Craig turned out. Their breakup was what lead him down a slippery slope to destruction years ago. As she got up to go back inside she spotted Spinner arguing with Darcy. "Spin! The party just started less than an hour ago you can't leave!" she shouted. "Well Darcy who else is gonna stay and take care of Craig?" he asked. Ashley sighed. "I can stay with Craig," she reluctantly answered. They both turned around and looked at her as if she were crazy. "You've got to be kidding me! Not just after that scene," Spinner replied. "Look I owe it to him. And to you guys for making a scene. I know it sounds weird coming from me of all people but I'll make sure he's alright." she added. "Well I have no clue where he's staying. I'd take him to Joey's but he's out of town and we can't get in without a key." "Actually if I can remember correctly, I know where there's a key," Ashley added. "You're sure you want to do this? Cause I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning and read "Ex Girlfriend Murders Former Rockstar Lover'", he stated. Ashley smacked him upside his head. "I won't hurt him, I promise. Besides Darcy's right. You should be enjoying your party. Joey's house is just one street over. Spinner can help me get Craig into the house and he'll back in no time," Ashley said trying to convince Darcy. Darcy pouted. "Alright but don't be long sweetie," Darcy told him giving him a kiss. Ashley rolled her eyes. Sometimes she swore they were the most annoying couple.

Spinner headed inside and after a few minutes dragged Craig out. With Craig still resisting a little bit he finally got him into the car. "Keep talking to him to keep him so he doesn't black out or anything Ashley," Spinner told her. She nervously turned around and faced Craig. "Craig. We're taking you home," she replied looking him in the eyes. He stared back but she could tell he wasn't all there. She grabbed his face and shook him. "Craig! Stay with me. This is Ashley. Honey you got to stay awake," she said as they pulled in the driveway. "Ashley," he mumbled back. "Go get the key while I try to go and get him out of the car," Spinner told her. She hopped out and went to the back yard, picking up a garden knome_. I think this is the one_, she thought. The head twisted open with a tiny house key inside. She ran back to the front and opened the door. "Sweet!" Spinner said as he brought Craig in. "Where am I?" Craig said somewhat slurring. "We're at Joey's," Spinner answered as Ashley turned on the lights. She thought back to all the times she was over and all the fun they had making music years ago. She stared at the photos on the wall, mostly of Craig and his sister throughout the years. "Ash, I don't think I'll be able to carry him up the stairs so I'm just gonna let him lay down on the couch," he replied. "Okay," she said still amazed she had agreed to stay and help Craig. "If there's anything else you need just call me. You have my number right?" he asked her. "Yeah," she smiled. "Thanks and good luck with that," Spinner pointed out as Craig puked on the floor.


	5. Nowhere Man

Chapter 5 "Nowhere Man"

_He's as blind as he can be,  
Just sees what he wants to see,  
Nowhere Man can you see me at all?  
Doesn't kave a point of view,  
Knows not where he's going to,  
Isn't he a bit like you and me?  
Nowhere Man, don't worry,  
Take your time, don't hurry,  
Leave it all till somebody else  
lend you a hand, Nowh__ere Man_

"Ashley! Ashley time for breakfast!" a voice called from outside. As she slowly woke up Ashley looked at her watch. It read 10:20 am. "Shit I'm late for work!" she said jumping up and then tripping. She felt a bit confused as she laid on the floor and looked around. The room looked slightly familiar and covered with tons of music posters before she recognized where she was. _That's right. You're at Craig's_. _But why are you in his bed?_ She wondered.

The last thing she remembered was Craig throwing up in the bathroom repeatedly all night long but she didn't remember coming all the way up the stairs and coming into his bedroom. As she glanced around the room she noticed some pictures of her and Craig on his dresser. It was as if Craig left things exactly like they were several years ago before he left off for Vancouver. She wondered if he had meant to leave them around. After all there were no pictures of him and Manny. Or was it just something he had overlooked for all these years. She smiled at the last photo of them. It was the night they started going out for the very first time and they were voted Luau King and Queen their freshman year. She remembered him walking her home and them kissing for the very first time. They had been through so much even then and at the time she honestly believed they would be together forever. Little did she know things between them were so much simpler then than now. She stepped inside of his bathroom and flipped her hair over her head and gazed into the mirror. She looked horrible, exhausted from staying up all night trying to look after Craig. Normally she wouldn't have cared if were just someone like Marco or Paige but she couldn't let Craig see her look like this. _Hell, why did she care what Craig thought anyway?_ She laughed to herself and reluctantly headed downstairs.

The radio was on and Craig was singing along to "Band On The Run" as she sat down on the couch. She felt odd in his house as if she was in dream. It was if nothing happened out of all these years or last night for that matter. "Well good morning sleepy head!" he replied all cheerful. He was wearing his sunglasses in the morning which she found to be somewhat bizarre. _And why wasn't he mentioning the night before?_ "Please don't tell me you made breakfast," Ashley stated as she saw him bringing two plates of food out. "Ha! Very funny Craig Manning, indie recording artist does not cook. That's what I pay my expensive personal chef to do, so here eat," he said handing her a plate and sitting down next her. The food did look tempting but she didn't this wasn't the time or place for brunch. "Craig do you know what happened last night?" she asked him curiously as he warfed down a plate of eggs and hashbrowns. It was then she realized how close he was sitting next to her and she felt as if he was invading her personal space. She eased up from the sofa and began to mess with various objects lying around on the end table to ease her awkwardness. " If I remember correctly…you slapped me which by the way is a huge turn on for me, then we 

made out, came back to my place, made sweet sweet love and the rest is history. Got to love the groupies," he said giving her wink. She punched him on his shoulder hard. "Ouch!" he yelled. "No you were drunk and God knows what else," she said rolling her eyes. "Actually, Spinner called earlier and told me everything. That was really nice of you to stay here and make sure I was okay. Thanks," he replied. "Well anything for a client. I didn't want Spinner to miss out on his own party," she said trying to make sure he understood why she stayed. In all actuality she hated that she felt sorry for him and wouldn't let him have the pleasure of knowing it. "Anyways I better go. Paige is probably flipping out right now," Ashley told him grabbing her purse and keys. "Why not call out and chill here with me. Its been so long and besides I'd love to catch up," Craig replied earnestly. Ashley couldn't tell if he was being serious or if he was just saying it to be courteous. "Craig, some of us have real jobs and bills to pay. I wish I could sit around all day and have fun but I have a job." "Ashley you are way too uptight. Carpe Diem! Seize the day!" he said laughing hysterically. He was starting to get annoying and it was starting to piss her off. "What happened to you Craig? This whole music thing has changed you. I'm not as stupid as you think. Now that I think of you were probably more than just drunk last night. You're probably still high or whatever it is you are right now," she explained shaking her head.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Craig said defensively.

"If you're not high than take off your sunglasses," she added. He stood there in silence.

"Just what I thought. You're just throwing your life away, for what a few hours of feeling good? You've got it all Craig, talent, fame, money and you're just throwing all away! " she explained.

"You know what you're one to talk! All on your high horse well you know nothing about my life. My fucking life is not glamorous as it looks Ashley. You don't understand how much pressure there is. To do well and the second you fail someone wants to get rid of you and take you out to the cleaners. You want this life than you can fucking have this life. You had the same fucking opportunities as I did but you chose Jimmy instead," he said rising his voice.

"Don't you dare bring Jimmy into this!" she screamed back.

"I know what he did to you Ashley and it makes me sick how much you defend him all the time!" he shouted.

"You don't know anything about him!" she said staring to crying angrily.

" I know because it happened to my mother. I know he used to hit you but you parade around here like he was a damn saint and it makes me sick Ashley." He yelled flipping the coffee table over. Ashley jumped back startled. He didn't mean to scare her but he was so angry and so mad. He stepped away and caught his breath as he gazed out the window. He wouldn't blame her if she walked out on him at that very second.

"You don't know anything about me and Jimmy," Ashley sobbed trying to wipe the tears from her face. "Ashley, I…," but before he could finish she ran out and slammed the front door. Craig could see he had really hit a sore spot. He felt like grabbing her and holding her tight but for some reason he stood back still angry at her for not admitting the truth.


	6. Yesterday

Chapter 6 Yesterday

_Why she had to go I don't know... she wouldn't say  
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday._

The next few days Craig tried hard not to think about his argument with Ashley. He was ashamed at himself for letting her see him that way and even more so how he had attacked her on such an emotional level. She was right, he had changed. At times he didn't even recognize his own self and he hated what he had become over the years, a rude, money grubbing, and insensitive jerk. After thinking long and hard about the whole situation he decided to seek counseling again with his old therapist. He had started taking his bipolar medication but who was he fooling? None of this would convince Ashley to ever talk to him again and he feared he might not ever be able to make things right between them. It seemed like she was on his mind constantly nowadays. He knew deep down he had never gotten over her and maybe he never would. He thought of some lame excuse to call her maybe something relating to Spinner and Darcy's wedding but he knew she would see right through that. Besides he didn't want to seem to desperate. After all, it was always him who had initiated all of their reconciliations over the years so maybe it was time for her to show him how much _she _cared for once. That thought still didn't keep his thoughts off of her. As he stared out his window in his lonely hotel room, he watched the rain come down and wished she was near. He wished they had never broken up. He wished that she had not gone to England the summer of the junior year. He wished she had never gotten engaged to Jimmy. He wished that he had never cheated on her with Manny all those years ago. He was using the word wished too much. He shook his head and rubbed his face with both his hands. They had overcome so much. His addiction. The cheating. His mental illness. _Why wasn't love enough? Think positive thoughts_. He said to himself remembering what his therapist had told him. _Screw therapy_. Hell it wasn't working anyways.

He got up to grab his pack of cigarettes from the living room when he heard a knock on the door. He deliberated whether or not to answer since he was in such in a crummy mood but for some reason he opened it anyways. It was Manny to his surprise. "Craig, I'm home!" she squealed cheerfully. With everything on his mind, he had totally forgotten she was due to come back any day now. _Exactly what I need_. He thought.

"Hey," he mumbled lighting his cigarette trying not to sound annoyed. "What no hug? Or kiss?" she asked putting her hand on her hip. He walked over reluctantly and kissed her cheek. She was wearing some ridiculous outfit, a leopard print halter top and black skinny jeans with sneaker heels. Even her clothes were annoying. "Well thanks for the warm welcome," she replied sarcastically setting down her bags and walking inside. Craig shut the door and sighed. "So aren't you going to ask me about my audition?" she asked eagerly with bright eyes. Craig sat down again near the window. "I'm not in a good mood right now. I'm on my medication again and you know how it makes me on edge. I just want to chill and relax," he said as he made his way to the kitchen. He got some ice out of the freezer and pour some whiskey into a glass. "Craig its just not the medication. Why didn't you tell me about the losing your contract?" "Its not exactly something I want to broadcast to the masses, Manny," Craig rebuttled taking a swish of whiskey. "Well I'm not the masses. I'm your girlfriend! I had to read it in a damn tabloid on the flight home!" she yelled. "Manny, I really don't want to talk right now," he replied sitting down and turning on the tv. She grabbed the remote and turned it off. "I wish you would open up to me Craig. I'm here for you. Maybe all you need is a little special attention," she replied trying to kiss him and unzipping his pants. He pushed her away and got up out of his chair. He hated how she always tried to fix things with sex. "Manny, I don't need sex I need some alone time," he 

shouted slamming his drink down. "But Craig…" she whined, "You mean everything. I don't understand why you keep pushing me away. I need you!" she cried trying to grab his hands. He pushed her away. "Manny! What the hell are we doing? What the hell am I doing?! We both know this isn't working. Its never worked, its always been just an attraction thing between us but now...now its starting to get old." he explained. He could she her eyes tearing up with disappointment. In a way he felt awful. He knew what it was like to love someone who didn't feel the same way. "You don't mean that," she cried obviously feeling hurt. "You keep wanting something more but I can't give you that," he said. "But we can try," she argued. "Manny its over." He said. She stood there speechless, tears now flooding down her cheeks. She tried to compose herself but she couldn't. "Fine," she mumbled grabbing her things. "But once I walk out that door, I'm not coming back," she explained. He walked over and opened the door. She wiped her eyes and ran out the door. Craig felt awful for breaking her heart but he couldn't keep on deceiving or denying his heart any longer. He was in love with Ashley and if he had any chance of getting back he was going to do whatever it took.


	7. You Can't Do That

Chapter 7 "You Can't Do That"

_Do I have to tell you one more time, I think it's a sin,  
I think I'll let you down.  
Let you down and leave you flat,  
Gonna let you down and leave you flat,  
Because I've told you before, oh,  
You can't do that._

"God damn it! Where the hell are my keys!" Paige screamed as she trying to juggle two coffees, her cell phone, and her briefcase while digging in her purse. "Its way too early for profanity,"Ashley said walking up to their office door and unlocking it. "You're a life saver, hun!" Paige said relieved. "And sorry I'm just a little stressed since we booked another event. I'll try to keep the obscenities at a minimum." Two days earlier, Ellie Nash had called them in desperate need of help with a charity event she planning for, the Wasagua Beach Kids Fund. The musicians Ellie hired had backed out of playing the event at the last minute and with her being almost a few weeks away from giving birth to twins there was no way she could handle planning an event almost two hours away. "I still can't believe her and Sean are married and are having kids," Ashley said shaking her head and looking at a calendar. "What's crazy is her trying to plan the whole thing while pregnant with twins, taking care of a toddler, and helping Sean out at the shop. I must say she's kinda like superwoman," Paige added walking over to the answering machine to check their messages. "Do you mind turning that down? I need to call Darcy real quick about the caterers," Ashley asked her. "Sure," she said.

Just then the heard the door chime. It was Marco who stopped halfway inside to catch his breathe. "You'll never believe this guys! I ran 3 blocks, and left Ellen Page in hair rollers as soon as I saw this!" he yelled out of breathe shaking a magazine in his hand. "Well please hurry hun, that girl needs all the help she can get," Paige told him. Ashley rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to handle a business call. Seriously," she said annoyed. Marco gave her a puss face and handed Paige the magazine. "This is just People magazine, hun," she said handing it back unphased. "No, page 14," he replied handing it back. She rolled her eyes as well and flipped through the glossy photos and scanned the page. There was a picture of Craig and some girl. "Craig Manning, after a night of partying caught canoodling with random girl a friend's restaurant, Dot Bistro and Grill," she read then took a double take after realizing who the girl was. It was Ashley.

"So I guess you lied when you said nothing happened between you and Craig that night huh?" Marco asked grinning. "Hold on Darcy I'll have to call you back," she said shaking her head at the both of them. "No wonder Craig left like 3 messages yesterday!" Paige told her. "Nothing happened. I keep telling you that," Ashley yelled back. "Well that ain't what People magazine says and it looks like to me you guys were getting pretty cozy," Marco added snapping his fingers as Paige laughed. Ashley looked at them both like they were nuts and snatched the wrinkled tabloid which they seemed to be so amused by. "No. He was about to pass out so Spinner told me to keep talking to him. They don't even show him in the car with us. Besides, I thought he had changed but no, he's still a jackass and there is absolutely and positively nothing going on between us." she argued. "Fine then you won't mind representing me," a voice said. It was Craig. They all turned around. "Guess we were so riled up about the whole photo thing that we didn't hear you come in. Please make yourself at home," Paige replied offering him a seat near her desk. Ashley sighed in annoyance. "I've been trying to get a hold of you Ashley since Wednesday. A friend of Caitlin's who works for People gave me a heads up on the photo. Thought you might like to know before it hit the stands" he said staring straight at Ashley. "I don't really give a damn, I have more important things to attend to," she mumbled returning to the papers that were on her desk.

"I thought maybe you guys could do some damage control seeing as I fired all my people when the label dropped me. I know nothing about PR. Hell I don't even know if I want to do this anymore " he explained ignoring Ashley. "So you mean to tell me you what to hire PR people and you're not even sure whether or not you want to still be in the business? Why not just blow it off ?" Marco asked him. "Good point Marco," Ashley added. "For someone who doesn't give a damn you sure are in this conversation a lot," Craig said angrily. "Alright cool it guys. So you're just looking to hire us temporarily until this cools down a bit," she questioned . "Yeah that's my third photo this month. Joey's also starting to get onto me about being a good example to Angie."

" I think we could work something out. Wait a minute! What are you doing in two weeks?" Ashley knew exactly what Paige was thinking. "You're not serious about letting him perform at that charity event?" Ashley yelled. "Its perfect! Ellie and Sean are doing a charity event for the Wasuga Beach Kids Fund and their performer just backed out. You could give away an autographed guitar or something for the silent auction," she explained. "Yeah what a great example. Craig Manning, a lying, cheating, druggie slash scoundrel," Ashley replied walking out. Craig couldn't believe she had the nerve to say it out loud. Paige ran out after her.

"Look I don't know what your problem is but you better get over it. If you this business to succeed you're gonna have to do whatever it takes to make it happen. Sure Craig has made some mistakes but get over it. At least he's trying. And sure you've had some horrible things happen to you in the past year and I'm sorry but I am tired of your "woe is me" act. Its lame and its getting old. Get over it." she yelled as Ashley began to cry. As Paige walked back inside she began to feel bad about what she said and turned right back around. She gave Ashley a hug and wiped the tears off her face. "I'm sorry," she said. "No you're right Paige. Thanks," she said smiling. "Okay let's not get all lovey dovey. Suck it up Kerwin! You don't want him to think you were crying," she told her smiling. Ashley laughed as they headed back into the office. "Is everything alrght?" Marco asked jumping up. "Yes, we discussed it and well… welcome to K&M, Craig!" Paige grinned as she shook his hand. Ashley went back to her desk and pretended to be busy. Craig glanced at her and gave a slight smile.


	8. Strawberry Fields Forever

Chapter 8

_Strawberry Fields Forever_

_Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.  
It's getting hard to be someone but it all works out.  
It doesn't matter much to me._

"Good heavens its way too bright in here!" Ashley said aloud shielding her eyes from the sun. She closed the blinds and put coffee grinds in a filter and then turned on the coffee pot. Paige had forgotten to turn down the blinds before she left the office yesterday which only reinforced her theory that Paige wasn't responsible enough to be left alone to close up shop by herself. She grabbed a sticky note and wrote, "Thanks for leaving the blinds open again!" and stuck it on her desk. Maybe that was a little mean, she thought. She took it back and throw the note in the trash can but not before noticing a manilla folder on Paige's desk. Curious she glanced closer. It had Craig's name on it. _"Maybe I shouldn't read this. Besides reading his file would totally be unprofessional."_ she reasoned. For some reason she picked it up anyway and skimmed through the files. Craig had done some impressive things since they had broken up years ago. He had performed for dozen of festivals and have even opened up for Sum 41 on a few of their tour dates last summer. Craig had done a lot of dating as well. He had been linked to various and somewhat "famous" people like Kate Todd, Mercedes from the metal band Kittie, and Alexz Johnson. He listed wanting to shed off his image as womanizer as well. Ashley had also seen photos of him and Manny on Canadian Weekly frolicking around town. He would never confirm or deny nor did he in his written statement to Paige. Quite frankly she was a bit curious to find out whether or not they were actually dating but she would never admit to the real reasons why. Just then she heard the door chime. She almost jumped rushing to put the papers back in the folder.

"Hello?! Anybody here?" someone called. Glancing down the hallway she realized it was Craig. "Coming!" she shouted walking towards him. Hopefully she looked okay. "Is Paige here? She said be here at 8 and now its about 8:20," he said checking his watch. "So let me get this straight. You're late but you're wondering where Paige is?" she asked sacastically. He grinned. "Was that a joke? Ladies and gentlemen Ashley Kerwin is actually being civil with me!" he repiled winking. She rolled her eyes. "Don't push it," she said slightly smiling. Just then the phone rang. "You guys got something to eat or drink?" he asked. "Help yourself to some coffee while I answer the phone," Ashley told him picking it up.

"Ashley Kerwin, how may I help you?" she answered. "Hey hun, its me Paige!" "Where are you. Craig's waiting on you and he's ready to go," she said. " Sorry, I'm not going to be able to make it. I'm cramping massively due to the crimson wave. You know I would never call out if I didn't have to," she said. Ashley could tell she was lying. "Look I don't know why your not here but I'm not going with Craig to Wasaga end of discussion," she rebuttled back. Craig glanced over. She forgot he was in the room and immediately felt bad. "Its just that I have a lot to do today and I wasn't expecting to be going to Wasaga," she added looking back at him. "Yeah right. Darcy's in New York and everything is pretty done with her event. Not to mention you could that Batzmitvah with your eyes closed. You're just afraid to be alone with Craig. Oh wait that's because you might actually like him!" she argued. "Whatever. That is so not the case!" "Well then you should have no objections to going to Wasaga then," Paige scrowled. Ashley knew she had her there. If she didn't go then it would seem as if she liked Craig according to Paige plus Craig would get the impression that she still hated his guts. She sighed. "I am going to do this for you this one time but you owe me!" she said slamming the phone down. "So I guess Paige is not coming. I mean its fine. I understand if you don't want to go. I'll just wait on Paige another day." he repiled about to walk out. "No its fine. Besides I haven't seen Ellie in ages. Its been too long in fact. It might cheer me up today," she explained. Craig raised an eyebrow. "Is everything okay Ashley?" he asked. She really didn't want to tell him what today was. Besides she was moving on from that chapter in her life. "Yeah. Everything's good. We better get going," Ashley told him grabbing her things. _You can do this Ashley. Don't let anyone know what's going on._ She said to herself.


	9. Helter Skelter

**Chapter 8 "Helter Skelter"**

**AUTHOR NOTE: This is kind of long but just bare with me. Its one of the most important chapters in this story!**

_  
She's coming down fast  
Yes she is  
Yes she is  
coming down fast_

An hour and a half into the trip, Ashley had barely said anything to Craig on the way up Wasaga. She had even insisted on sitting in the back seat and had either been on her laptop or listening to her Ipod the whole time. He was a little disappointed and hoped to talk to her perhaps even get back into her good graces but so far attempts at reconciliation were futile. "How much further do we have?" she asked gazing up from her computer screen. He looked back in the rear view mirror shocked she was speaking. "A few more minutes. Sean's shop is just a few miles up the road," he said. He couldn't believe how uptight she had become over the years. He missed the old Ashley. Lively, bubbly, always busting out into a random song. _What had happened to the girl he loved all those years ago? _He was going to get her to laugh and break out of this reclusive shell today even if it killed him.

Before he knew it they had reached Cameron's Custom Cars. The shop was rather large but old and beat up. Several cars were parked or being worked on right outside the lot. Craig got out and rushed to Ashley's door and opened it for her. 'Thanks," she said unphased. This was going to be harder than he thought. A large man with dirty overalls and black oil all over his face walked up to them wiping his face with a old rag. "Can I help you two?" he said with a smoker's cough. "We're here to see Ellie, she's expecting us," Craig said. "Oh Eleanore? Just go right up those stairs. She's in her office," he pointed.

They both headed for that direction going up the stairs and knocked on the door. They could hear someone screaming before it opened. "OMG! Ashley!" Ellie squealed hugging Ashley. "Its been so long since I've seen you two!" she said. "Wow you are very pregnant!" Ashley replied back admiring her huge belly as Ellie just grinned. "Hey Ellie," Criag waved. She just gave a slight nod and waved. She hadn't seen him since he left for Calgary after she found out he was on cocaine. "Come on in. Excuse me for a second while I finish this call." Ashley walked around scoping the place out. Craig had expected Ellie to be doing something more glamorous, what he didn't know but never did he see her helping Sean Cameron manage a car garage. "Damn it Bruce I know you get me those parts faster than that. Well you tell your employees to get off their lazy asses and get it done." she yelled. Craig looked at Ashley. She shrugged her shoulders intrigued as well. "Sorry. This is exactly why Sean is banning me from working as of today. Too much stress is not good for a high risk pregnancy," she said sitting down as well. "Speaking of high risk you really should get Sean to put in some new stairs. They're all old, rusty, and pretty damn scary I must say," Craig suggested. "I'm used to it. We're fixing to move out once the babies come anyway," she replied. "Babies. As in more than one?" Craig asked. "Yes! twins. We couldn't figure out why I was getting so huge so fast but yeah we're having twins!' Ellie repiled. Craig glanced over at Ashley who was in a daze.

"Earth to Ashley!" he said snapping his fingers. She jumped a little. "Oh sorry," she mumbled looking away again. "Ashley, you're awfully quiet. What's been going on with you besides your buisness. You and Paige have done quite well for yourself I see," Ellie said. "Yeah things are going well," she added. "Seeing anyone?" Ellie asked nudging her and winking. Craig wondered if she was eluding to him but with women it was always hard to tell. "Nope no special at the moment."

Before Ashley could even finish they heard some walk in. It was Sean with him and Ellie's son. "Sean look who's here!" Ellie chimmed. She got up to greet her husband and son with a kiss. "Hey man what's up," Sean said handing their son to Ellie. He then gave Craig a bear hug. "And Ashley. You look almost as beautiful as my lovely wife," he said hugging her as well. "Is that thing yours?" Craig asked referring to the little boy who was hiding behind Ellie. "Unfortunately, yes. His name is Eli. Of course he takes after Ellie," Sean replied pointing to his hair. "Wow he's really adorable and look at that gorgeous red hair," Ashley said smiling. "Say hello Eli," Ellie said holding his arm up to wave at Ashley. Eli just stuck his thumb in mouth and glared at Ashley bashfully. Suddenly he grinned and reached for her. "I think he wants you to hold him," Craig told her. He couldn't figure out why she was so hesistant. "I'm not really good with kids," Ashley added. "Oh Eli, is very well behaved most of the time. Go ahead hold him while I get those papers for Craig. I have the details about the event somewhere around here," Ellie said wandering off.

"So when you two get back together? Knew you two couldn't stay away for too long," he chuckled hitting Craig on the shoulder. Ashley sighed. "We're not together." Sean's face immediately became straight. "Oh sorry," he repiled. Craig hated how she said it. As if he were the last person she wanted to end up with. "Strictly buisness," Craig added a little wounded and reinforcing her statement. "Well I'm really glad you tagged along Ashley. Ellie was just saying how she wished it you coming instead of Paige. She hadn't seen you since Jimmy's funeral and of course with us being so far away," he explained. "No. Its okay."

Eli was now playing with Ashley's hair. Ellie re-entered the room with papers in her hand. "Okay this everything you need to know about the gig and your 1/3 of your check up front,' Ellie replied. "Its really is great what you're doing for these kids," Craig said. "Well we think its great your willing to sacrifice your time to do this event. We really appreciate it since its last minute and all," Ellie added. "No problem,at all," he said. "I think its about time we got going. I've got a ton of work and Paige is sick and all," Ashley immediately announced. Craig looked at her again puzzled. It was if she were in a trance. "But you guys just got here and you came all this way," Ellie said looking at them both. "I've got some loose ends to tie up at one of my properties about 30 minutes away. We'll come back when we have more time," Craig explained. Sean and Ellie both looked confused. Ashley got up and handed Eli back. "He's an adorable boy, Ellie. Bye Bye sweetie," Ashley told him kissing him on the forehead. He began to cry reaching out for her. Ashley seemed unphased by the crying toddler and walked out as if she were a zombie. "Take care guys," Sean waved Craig followed. _Something's not right._ He wondered.

"Ashley! Wait! What's going on?" he asked. She began to run down the stairs crying hystericially. She lost her balance and tripped. Craig tried to grab her but it was too late. For Ashley everything seemed to be in slow motion. Falling to the ground seemed like it took forever. Suddenly her mind raced back to literally the same day a little over a year ago:

"_**What the hell is calling you for? Are you thinking about leaving me?! After all I've done for you!" Jimmy shouted turning his plate of food over.**_

"_**Jimmy please. Its nothing. It was just about Caitlin and Joey's wedding." Ashley said back trying to seem calm not wanting to cause another fight.**_

"_**I bet it is. He's trying to take you away from me again. He's not going to get you or my baby. If I ever catch you talking to him again!" he yelled.**_

"_**You'll what? Hit me! Go head. I don't have to put up with this!" she said throwing her dinner napkin down on the table. He stuck out his walking crutch and she tripped, falling to the ground pretty hard.**_

"_**Not so tough now. Huh?" he added with a look of disgust.**_

_**She began to cry.**_

__

"_**Why are you doing this to me? What are you so evil? What happened to you Jimmy?" she pleaded.**_

"_**DO you not see my freakin' legs! They can barely move. After everything you did to me I still took you back and you still want him?" he shouted in front of her.**_

"_**I left him for you! Jimmy please stop all this," she said in pain. She could feel sharp piercing pains in her stomach. "Jimmy. Something's wrong with the baby. I need help!" she screamed hurting and grabbing her stomach.**_

"_**You're just saying that so you can leave me!" he yelled.**_

"_**No please. I need to go to the hospital," she hollered getting up. She held onto the walls barely able to stand up straight.**_

"_**You're not going to get away from me! DO You hear me!" he told her as she made her way out. He got up to follow her. She headed for the stairs, knowing that it would be hard for him to get to them so she could make her escape.**_

"_**You better get back here, NOW or else you'll be sorry!" he screamed.**_

_**She made it down the hallway and to the top of the stairs but had to stop. The pain was too intense. The room began to spin. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Jimmy making his way towards her with his crutches.**_

"_**Please. Please don't hurt me. For the baby's sake Jimmy. Something's wrong!" she mumbled barely able to stay focused.**_

"_**What baby?" Jimmy replied.**_

_**He hit her with his crutch again and then pushed her down the stairwell. She could feel the warm blood gushing out of her mouth as she fell down the stairs. The cold, hard concrete pounded against her skin as she fell step by step. She closed her eyes and kept falling for what seemed like an eternity. She prayed she would never wake up again or remember what happened.**_


	10. Hey Jude

Chapter 10 "Hey Jude"

_Hey jude, dont make it bad.  
Take a sad song and make it better.  
Remember to let her into your heart,  
Then you can start to make it better._

The sound of music played softly in the background as Ashley began to awake. She felt some slight pain in her right knee. Confused she sat up and saw their knee was wrapped in gauze and an ice pack laid on top. She could hear Craig singing softly but the place they were in looked unfamiliar. "Where am I?" she asked trying to get up. Craig rushed into the living room where she was at. "Whoa there. Take it easy! You're a little banged up," he said taking the ice pack off her knee to look at it. "I'm fine," she added a little embarrassed unrolling her pants leg. "Sean's mom took a look at it and she could tell it had been broken or fractured before. You've been blacking out for a while now" he added. She thought back to her accident when she had lost her baby. "I didn't need anyone to look at it. I'm fine," she replied getting up. She winced a little feeling some pain. She made her way to kitchen where there was a glass sliding door and walked outside. She nend to be alone. She needed some air to think and collect herself. A few minutes later Craig followed her bringing some sandwiches out.

"Hungry?" he asked sitting down at the picnic table. She didn't say anything for a while. "Not really… what is this place?" she asked quietly. He could barely hear her. He got up and sat closer to where she was standing. "It belonged to my father. He brought it for my mom when they first started having trouble," he told her looking down. "You mean when he first started beating her?" she asked turning her back to him staring off into the distance. Craig hesistated for a moment. He didn't know where or not he should press her for more information about her and Jimmy. She had been mumbling his name during her blackouts begging him to stop hurting her. There was silence for a while before he spoke again. "Yes. When he started beating her," he nervously answered.

Tears began to run down her face. He could hear her trying to keep quiet but she couldn't hide it any longer. She was tired of keeping everything inside. No longer could she keep her secret.

"Jimmy…he used to beat me. I don't know why or how it started but it just got bad so fast," she cried. Craig jumped up and grabbed her hand. "We were going to have a baby, a little girl and, and then he pushed me. Craig, I tried to get away but he threw me down the stairs. I was begging him to stop for the baby's sake. And when I saw little Eli, I..," before she could finish he wrapped his arms around her. She buried her head in his chest crying and shaking. "Shh, its ok. I'm here," he said. As she cried and cried he could feel his body trembling with anger. Jimmy deserved to be exactly where he was, rotting and being half eaten by worms just like his father.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this Ashley. If I had known sooner, maybe I could have done something," he reasoned. She looked up at him. "Its not your fault. Just you being here is enough," she said staring at him with those gorgeous green eyes. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to protect her and keep her safe from all this but he knew now was not the right time to let her know how he felt. "If there's anything you need. I'm here," he said hugging her again. She wiped her eyes. "I've never told anyone that. Not even Paige or Marco. No one knows. I've kept it a secret," Ashley replied sitting down. "I won't tell anyone until you're ready," Craig told her. This still didn't explain why she went back to Jimmy even after she had lost the baby. He wanted to know more but afte all this was a huge step for Ashley and he was proud of her.

She sighed still emotionally drained from the situation. "And I'm sorry for being so mean to you. Its just hard for me to let people in. Especially because of our past." Ashley confessed. He understood. They both still were healing from everything that happened post high school.

"No don't apologize. Nobody's been that honest with me as you were that night at Joey's. When you're in the business people just say whatever you want to hear. I spent months with Manny but not once did she ever convince me to clean up my act. I mean she had feelings for me but she loved my bank account as much as she loved me. Coming back to Toronto and seeing all you guys made me miss being normal. I turned my back on the people who really cared about me. I don't want that to happen again. I've decided that I'm quitting the business. I'm done with it all. Its not worth losing my soul over," he said. Ashley's face looked disgruntled.

"You can't quit. Sure you've faced so much and now your now you're getting your life back together," she said. "I'm done. My last album was horrible. All people want is flashing lights and overproduced pop. Maybe I'll write jingles or do kitty litter commercials," he rambled wailing his arms around. She laughed a little. Craig was glad to see her face light up even if it was over a corny little joke. "Get in the studio. Start writing again. Prove all your critics wrong. People do want to hear more than just overproduced sugar coated pop," she explained. _Maybe she was right. Maybe he could prove them all wrong and make an album worth listening to._ Suddenly he got a crazy idea.

"Ashley, why don't you come into the studio with me?" he asked. It was a far stretch but perhaps she'd say yes. It could be like old times. She chuckled as if he were joking and shook her head. "I'm serious Ash, you're good," he added.

"Craig its been years since I've written anything or even played an instrument, let alone performed," she said."I can't do this without you," he added. She sighed and closed her eyes. "You have been for the past couple of years. Look Craig, I'm glad you feel like I'd be a great partner for your new record but we just started being friends again. This is all a bit much for me," she explained. _She was right. He was just gaining her trust again. He needed to take things slow. _"We better head home for Toronto," he mumbled. "Wait, I di.." but before she finished he was already heading inside the house.

The drive back to Toronto seemed faster than going to Wasaga for some reason. Ashley fell asleep most of the way and Craig tried not to over analyze what had occurred. _At least she had said they were friends_. He kept thinking. As they pulled up to her townhouse she was still asleep. Paige was waiting outside. She had been worried sick after Ellie had left her a message saying Ashley had been hurt. "Is she alright?" she asked concerned. "Yeah. She's fine now. Knocked out like a little baby," Craig whispered.

He picked Ashley up and carried her inside. "Her room is upstairs on the right," Paige pointed. He carefully went up the stairs and into her room placing her on her bed. She rolled over a few times and woke up as Craig tried to tip toe out. "Craig," she whispered. He turned around and went back to where she was. "Yes?" he answered. "Thank you, for everything" she said staring at him. She grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek. He smiled back. "Now get out of here and wipe that little smirk off your face," she replied throwing a pillow at him. He ducked and threw it back. "Good night," he said leaving. "Good night," she repeated smiling.


	11. No Air Part One

**_Author's Note_**: **This chapter is two parts for a reason (which means it'll be well worth it to read the second part so please be patient!) "No Air" is not a Beatles song but I'm guessing you already know that! It's a duet by Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown. Lol.**

"No Air" Part 1

_So how do you expect me  
to live alone with just me  
'Cause my world revolves around you  
It's so hard for me to breathe_

_Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air…_

The next few days were a complete blur for Ashley. She had barely enjoyed anytime to herself or to just sit down and relax. With all of Darcy's high strung demands and changes to every single possible thing she could think of for the wedding, Ashley was more than excited to be spending a quiet evening alone at home. As she entered her house she threw down her purse and removed her clothes as fast as possible as soon as she got to her bedroom. She climbed into a tub full of warm water and eased in closing her eyes. The past week had also been an emotional one. She was happy that she finally told someone about her abusive relationship with Jimmy and was suprised at how supportive Craig had been. She hadn't seen or spoken to him since their trip to Wasaga but he was on her mind quite a bit lately and she didn't know why. She would catch herself throughout the day thinking of little things he had said or did on the trip. _Maybe you're starting to get attracted to him. _She thought. Maybe it was because she hadn't been with a man in so long and liked the attention. Whatever the case she hoped these thoughts would go away.

After she was done she slipped on an old baseball tee and pjs and plopped onto the couch. It was then she heard her cell phone ring. She looked at it. It was Craig. _Damn it! Just when I had stopped thinking about him for a millisecond! _She hesitated for a moment, contemplating on whether or not she should answer it. However she was curious as to why Craig was calling her on a Friday night since the office was closed. "Hello?" she answered. "Hey Ash, it's me Craig," he said. "Oh hi, Craig what's up," she repiled trying to sound casual. "What are you doing right now?" he asked. "Well, I was about to order some Chinese and just bum around the house," she responded still amused he was calling her. "Nonsense! You are coming out with me to do some karaoke at Bar Craft." he added. _Did she hear him correctly? "_Karaoke? I don't know. Besides why me? We're just learning how to be civil to one another," she told him. "I'll buy you some Spumoni ice cream! Come on live a little!" he reasoned all excited. She couldn't believe he remembered she liked Spumoni ice cream. Nobody ever liked it anyways. "Well since you mentioned Spumoni, I guess I can show up. I'll be there as soon as I can," she said rolling her eyes sarcastically. "Great see you there!" he chimed. Did she really just agree to go out with Craig Manning?

--

The bar was irritatingly loud and smoky as Craig threw back a Red Bull and waited on Ashley to arrive. Perhaps this wasn't the best place for a recovering addict to go to but nonetheless Craig needed to take the edge off. He was having some serious withdrawal symptoms and needed to do something to keep himself occupied. He had called Ashley on a whim knowing she would probably be the only person at home on a Friday night, given her being so anti-social and all. He was suprised she said yes considering she had given off the 'we're only friends' vibe earlier that week. He didn't want to seem desperate or anything but he also thought of it as doing her a favor as well. He checked his watch. It had almost been forty minutes since he had called her and she still wasn't there. Maybe she had changed her mind. Just as he was about to pick up the phone and call her, he saw her walk in. She looked beautiful as she always did.

She was dressed down a bit from her usual look, wearing just a sweater and tank top with jeans and boots. Her hair was wavy and she looked incredibly sex as she ran her fingers through her long brown hair as she maneuvered through the crowd. "Hey you made it!" he said getting up from his stool. "Yeah sorry I'm late. I tried my best but I look awful," she yelled pointing from head to toe. He always hated how she doubted herself that like that, something that was probably made worse over the years because of Jimmy. She looked amazing in his opinion. "You look great," he said. She rolled her eyes and slightly smiled. "So where are your friends?" she asked looking around. He guessed she thought there were going to be other people coming. Maybe she wouldn't have come otherwise. "No friends. Just you and me," he said moving in closer to her so she could hear him. Someone bumped into him forcing their bodies to press up against each other. He wondered if she could feel the same thing. He felt a prickling of electricity surge through his body. They both looked each other in the eye for a moment. "Sorry! Hey aren't you Craig Manning?" the person who bumped into him. "Hey everybody its Craig Manning!" the dude shouted.

Ashley chuckled as Craig looked like he wanted to hide. Everyone started clapping. "Sing us a song!" some drunk person shouted. Suddenly one of the bartenders grabbed a mic. "So I hear Craig Manning is here! Looks like the crowd wants a performance!" the man repiled. Craig gave a fake smile and waved. "I really just wanted to chill tonight. Hence why I got a private karaoke room," he told Ashley. "I think this kind of funny. You should do it," she repiled back laughing. "This isn't funny," he said back. "We've got a guitar up here with your name on it!" the guy added trying to entice him. All of a sudden Craig hopped in top of the bar. He had an idea. The crowd quickly hushed to see his response.

"I'll do it, but only if my friend here, Ashley Kerwin gets up on the stage and sings with me," he shouted to everyone. "Craig! I haven't sung in front of a crowd in years! I can't, " she pleaded. "ASHLEY! ASHLEY! ASHLEY!" Craig started to yell. The crowd started chanting her name and screaming as well. "I think the crowd says otherwise," he said jumping down with a sly smirk on his face. "All these people. What if I make a mistake?" she asked. "Ashley, take a chance for once in your life. Come on, we can do this together. I'm not gonna let anything bad happen to you," he said grabbing her hand. She took in a deep breath and sighed. "This is insane!" she yelled shaking her head at him. "Just follow my lead," Craig told her. The crowd cheered as they headed on stage. "Alright here we go," he said picking up the mic. The bartender handed Ashley a mic as well. She couldn't believe what Craig had gotten her into.


	12. No Air Part Two

_**Author's Note: **_**I know this story is kind of moving slow but it will pick up soon, I swear, lol! I had a hard time deciding what direction I wanted the story to move in but I've come up with something I think you'll enjoy in the next chapter. Please give me a review if you can! Thanks!**

Ashley closed her eyes and tried to remain calm. Her hands were shaking as she gripped the microphone. "No air, on the count of three," Craig whispered. It was a song they had performed a few times out on the road back when it was popular years before. It was one of Ashley's guilty pleasures and Craig had learned to play a more stripped down version one year as a suprise for their anniversary when they were in London. She couldn't believe he had remembered it after all these years. "A long, long, time ago before my career took off I used to play in a band with this lovely lady, Ashley Kerwin, and we used to play this song which was huge a years ago, its called 'No Air'. 1, 2, 1, 2, 3," he said starting to play the intro. Ashley didn't know if she could do this. _Come on, sing_. She thought to herself. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest. _You've done this a thousand times! _She let out a huge sigh.As the hot lights began to beam down,_ s_he began to sing,

_**"If I should die before I wake, It's 'cause you took my breath away,**__**  
**__**Losing you is like living in a world with no air**__**  
**__**Ohhhh," **_

She couldn't believe it. She was singing! She opened her eyes when Craig began to sing his part. He smiled, reassuring her she was doing fine. She still couldn't believe it. They began to sing the chrous,

_**Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air**__**  
**__**Can't live, can't breathe with no air**__**  
**__**It's how I feel whenever you ain't there**__**  
**__**It's no air, no air**__**  
**__**Got me out here in the water so deep**__**  
**__**Tell me how you gonna be without me**__**  
**__**If you ain't here, I just can't breathe**__**  
**__**It's no air, no air...**_

Ashley slowly felt the nervousness slowly escape her body. The crowd was now starting to sing along and even a few drunk people started to sway. Craig was always much more animated than she was and she felt a little weird without her keyboard in front of her. As she started singing again she faced him, the only thing she could think of instead of just standing idle. She now directed the lyrics to him belting out fiercely as she sang,

_**But somehow I'm still alive inside**__**  
**__**You took my breath, but I survived**__**  
**__**I don't know how, but I don't even careeee...**_

As they continued singing they both fixed their eyes upon each other. She could feel the butterflies in her stomach resurface again. The intensity was a little too much and immediately she turned away. She redirected her attention to the crowd and started to get them to sway and clap their hands as Craig sang. Before she knew it the song was almost over. She went back to where Craig was and playfully sang with him,_**  
**_  
_**Got me out here in the water so deep**__**  
**__**Tell me how you gonna be without me**__**  
**__**If you ain't here, I just can't breathe**__**  
**__**It's no air, no air**____**No air, air.**_

The audience cheered as they finished. They both bowed. Craig grabbed her and raised her arm up in the air. She just covered her face in embarassment as the audience cheered some more. Craig laughed as she broke free. Ashley then leaped off the stage. "Thanks and goodnight!" Craig said. He put the guitar down and followed her. She needed something to drink. Being on stage again was exciting but now she was all jittery and she didn't like what that could possibly mean. She ordered a beer and guzzled it down before Craig came near her.

"Hey, I was wondering where you went! See that wasn't so bad!" Craig said sitting down next to her. "That was a little much for me to handle. I work in an office all day. I'm not a rockstar like you," she replied. "Well you were great. Are you sure you haven't been doing this secretly all these years?" he asked. She shook her head. He had this bewildered puppy dog look in his eyes that drove her crazy. She always felt self conscious around him. She hated to admit it but he had finally gotten to her. She was starting to feel as if she was 14 all over again. "Do you want to get out of here? I'm kind of hungry," she stated._ Oh God what am I doing?_ she wondered. "Yeah, sure," he said eyes all lighting up. She couldn't help but grin. For the first time in a long time she was really happy.

Three hours later, Craig and Ashley were still sitting outside on a park bench eating Chinese food and ice cream. They had been laughing, joking and talking about everything under the sun from crazy on the road stories to Toby marrying a much older woman. Ashley had forgotten what it was like to have a guy treat her so nicely. "Thanks for taking me out, well hanging out with me. Its been a long time since I've had this much fun," she said eating some ice cream. "No problem. Anytime," he added. "I must admit when you came back I thought you a complete ass," she replied gazing out into the pier. She hoped her wouldn't get mad at her previous comment.

"Well you'd be right to assume that because in fact I was an ass to you, Manny, hell even Ellie and Sasquatch. I've never admitted this to anyone because I vowed I would never let the buisness change me but it has. I'm not the same guy I was when I left here. " he explained taking a bite of her ice cream. "Well since you're being honest I guess its my turn. I never told you this but I've always wanted to say I'm sorry," she added. He seemed confused. "For what?" he asked. "For everything I did to wreck our relationship."

"Which one?" he joked. She rolled her eyes and sighed. "For all of them. I always blamed you but I wasn't always the easiest person to get along with. We were both were young and stupid. At the time it was too much to take. The whole having sex thing, then Manny, your illness, the summer I went to London. I really did think about you all the time. And Jimmy. Leaving you for him was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made. It killed me to know what happened to you at Degrassi and in Vancouver. I thought maybe I had something to do with it all," she told him painfully. "

"You leaving me shouldn't have been an excuse to start drugs... but it was. Looking back it wasn't your fault. Paris wasn't your fault either. Being on the road and constantly around that crazy environment 24/7 must have hard. Jimmy was offering stability at the time when things with the tour were crazy. You didn't know he was going to end up being the sick bastard that he was," he said. Her eyes filled with tears. She felt so bad for everything that had transpired between them. Hearing all this wasn't easy. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything." she cried. He grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "Shhh, its okay." he whispered. "I'm usually not like this. You know I've been a beaming ray of sunshine," she joked wiping her tears. "Its fine. Let's get you home," Craig told her.

The car ride home was pretty quiet. Ashley and Craig were both were feeling a lot of old wounds being exposed and neither one of them knew what to say. Finally after a few minutes they arrived at Ashley's townhouse._ Thank God_! she thought. Craig got out of the car and opened Ashley's door. He walked her to the front steps expecting her to say goodnight but instead she sat down on the swing. "This reminds me of our first date," she said looking up into the night sky. Craig chuckled. "I still can't believe we won, Luau King and Queen," he said sitting next to her. He was pretty close. She could feel the warmth of his body next to hers and it made her slightly nervous. He smelt nice. "And how awful was my goth phase?" she joked as they both laughed. She really wanted him to kiss her. They both traded glances for a second and then looked away. Maybe she was just making all this up in her head but she was pretty sure he liked her too. "Well I better get going. I've got any early rehersal for the concert and all," he explained. "Sure. Thanks again for inviting me. I had fun," Ashley stated with a fake smile. Disappointed she walked away. "Bye," he waved smiling. She waved back and walked inside the house.

_Dumbass you should have kissed her!_ Craig thought as he sat in his car. It had been a long time since he had felt a real connection with a woman let alone Ashley. She had bared her soul something she rarely did for anyone. He was pretty sure he was starting to win her over but he was too scared to make a move. With everything she had been through with Jimmy he wasn't quite sure she was ready to get involved with anyone so soon. He didn't know why but suddenly he got out of the car and ran to her front door. "Screw it!" he shouted aloud knocking on her door. A light came on in the hallway and Ashley answered the door. "Craig?" she said. "I forgot something," he said. "What?" she asked. "This," he said grabbing her. He kissed her slowly and passionately. At first she was taken by suprise so he stopped hoping she wouldn't slap him or kick him in the balls. She looked into his eyes and they kissed again. _Yeah she definitely likes me!_ he thought. He loved the way her lips felt against his, so soft and smooth. She smelt so good too. Everything about her was amazing. He didn't want to stop but he didn't want her to feel too uncomfortable either. "I better go," he said pulling away reluctantly. Ashley held her head down smiling biting her lip. It was kind of sexy to Craig. "Okay," she said kind of whispering. He gave her another quick peck and left out the doorway. "See you tomorrow," he said heading as she closed the door.

She bet he was grinning from ear to ear. _Damn you, Craig Manning..._


	13. Everybody's Got Something To Hide

_Chapter 13 Everybody's Got Something To Hide_

_Everybody's got something to hide except for me and  
My monkey…_

The day couldn't seem to get any longer. Craig had been rehearsing for the Wasaga Beach Kids benefit for three hours and he had accomplished very little. The venue they were at wasn't used to live performances at least by non orchestra musicians and they were having an extremely hard time tuning everything. He was in a cranky mood given his substance cravings were intensifying and the so-called sound crew's incompetence was steadily annoying him but he refrained and didn't say anything. Paige had invited the press for interviews and he didn't want to seem like a tool ordering people around. He wanted to call Ashley and see if when she coming but he figured she was busy. Besides he didn't want to seem too desperate and he knew he needed to give her a little breathing room given everything that was said the night before.

"Let's take a 20," one of the crew members shouted. Craig took a sip of his Red Bull and put his guitar down. In the distance he could see Ellie and Sean. "Hey!' Ellie yelled. He didn't understand how anyone could be that huge and happy all at once. "I thought you were supposed to be taking it easy!" Craig shouted back. "She doesn't listen at all!" Sean added. "Well I had to see how everything was coming along," she explained turning to Sean. Craig had to admit they were they cute together. "By the way Paige is looking for you. She's upstairs," Ellie said. _I wonder what this is about. _Craig thought_._

He head upstairs to where Paige was. She was standing next to a heavy bald guy chit chatting. "What's this all about?" Craig asked. "You've been served. Sign here," the man demanded. Paige looked just as confused as he was. "Hold up. He's not signing anything without a lawyer present," Paige said. 'Well he's being sued. I'll have to make a note that he refused to sign," the man replied. "Fine whatever," Craig said signing it. The man handed him the papers and left. 'I can't believe you! We were on fucking spirit squad together!" Paige said flipping him off. "Oscar?" Craig replied. "Yeah he's totally gay anyways!" she yelled as he looked at the papers. "Manny's suing me!" he said shocked.

"Why the hell would Manny be suing you, Craig?" she asked curiously. "For alimony. These are divorces paper," he said bewildered with his hands moving all over his face. "You're married! To Manny? When the hell did this happen?!" Paige shouted hitting him hard. "Oww! I don't know. We're not married," he added. She snatched the papers out of his hand. "Well this paper says otherwise. How could you not know you're married to someone! Either you are or you're not!" she screamed. "Shh! Keep it down! I don't know Paige. Drugs and being bipolar are two very complicated things. When you mix the two its not pretty. I'd have these episodes where I'd black out and wake up days later not knowing what had gone on," he explained. "So you mean to tell me you think you married Manny but you're not sure?" she asked. "Yes," he murmured. He hit him on the head with her purse twice. "What the hell is WRONG with you!" Paige hollered. "Is everything okay up there?' Ellie asked from below. "Everything's fine!" Craig shouted back looking down the balcony and moving back afraid of Paige. "Everything is not fine. The press is going to eat you alive! This is exactly what you didn't want. Damn it Craig! I need to call Ashley. Maybe she can think of something. I can't deal with you right now," she told him shaking her head looking her cell phone. His heart began to sink. He couldn't bare to let her know that he might possibly be married to Manny after last night.

"No you can't let Ashley know," he said trying to grab her phone. "Why not?" Paige said annoyed. "Because. I don't want her know,' he added. "I'm sorry hun but that ship's not about to set sail. I know you have a little crush on her but that's never gonna happen again," she said. "It already did. We kissed last night and she's so sweet and so nice. You're her best friend. You know she doesn't deserve this," Craig explained. Paige couldn't believe it.

"Her best friend, that she didn't tell! And how am I supposed to believe you anyways? You don't even remember marrying Manny!" she screamed again pissed at both him and Ashley. He covered his ears. "Enough with the screaming! And I did kiss her. I wouldn't forget something like that especially not with Ashley," he argued. Paige saw the desperation in his eyes. He really did seem like he cared about Ashley. And he was right Ashley would be completely and utterly devastated if she found out he had married Manny. She sighed.

"Look I'm not going to tell her but YOU are. In the meantime tell no one and see if you can find anything! Receipts from trips or vacations, dates, anything you two did together. I'm going to get in contact with a lawyer and see what I can do. You just stay focused and worry about tonight's performance," she replied. "Thanks, I really appreciate it Paige," he said grabbing and hugging her. She rolled her eyes. "Alright you can let go now,' she said feeling awkward as he still held on.


	14. Don't Let Me Down

**Chapter 14 "Don't Let Me Down"**

_**Guess nobody ever really done me**__**  
**__**Ooh she done me, she done me good**__****_

_**Don't let me down**__**  
**__**Hey, don't let me down**__**  
**__**Don't let me down**__**  
**__**Don't let me down**_

"Come ONNN! We're freakin' twenty minutes late! You know how traffic gets once you head downtown!" Paige yelled from the bottom of the stairway. "You can not rush perfection!" Marco hollered back. "We're almost done, Paige I swear!" Ashley added. Paige looked at her watch. Ellie and Sean had already called her twice to see where her and Ashley were. Ellie was starting to feel a bit restless since the press was starting to get out of control once Craig accidentally said he would be debuting a new song. "Seriously hun let's go now!" Paige roared. Marco came down the steps with his make-up kit and various hair tools. "Wait until you see Ashley! Come out and show Paige how awesome you look!" he said grinning ear to ear and stepping aside.

Ashley walked out of her bedroom slowly and to the top of the stairs. Paige's jaw dropped. She looked stunning. "So what do you think?" Ashley replied nervously. Ashley's dress was gorgeous. It was a short but tasteful black dress that had a plunging neckline and slightly tiered at the bottom. Her hair was done in soft curls and her lips were a deep rich red color which looked amazing against her tan olive skin. "Wow you took amazing! Your jewelry is great and those red heels...killer!" Paige said grabbing her hand and twirling her around. Ashley chuckled. "All thanks to me of course!" Marco gushed. "You sure I look okay? I mean this is totally something I would never wear! I feel a bit naked," she said fluffing her dress standing nervously. "Hun, its because you're always hiding behind those stuffy work clothes. You look great! I'm sure Craig will love it!" Paige told her raising her eyebrow and winking.

Ashley rolled her eyes. All of a sudden Paige was constantly teasing her about Craig and it was becoming a bit annoying. Ashley had tried her best not to reveal anything that had gone on between her and Craig. She was discreet as possible at work and avoided being in the office when she knew he would be around. If she had to speak to him, it was brief and to the point. She needed to sort out her feelings before she did anything else. She decided that would end to night. She was going to tell him how she really felt. "Earth to Ashley! She must be dreaming about Craig Manning again!" Paige chuckled. Ashley gave her a dirty look. "What are you like 12, Paige? Seriously, let's go!" Marco said heading towards the door. Paige followed. "Oh hold on I forgot my purse!" Ashley cried heading back. "God damn! Can we ever this freakin' house?!" Paige told Marco. Ashley ran upstairs and grabbed her purse. She didn't realize it but her cell phone was still on her night stand. She hurried down the stairs and smiled. She would have never told Paige or Marco but she couldn't wait to see Craig.

--  
Craig paced back and forth in his dressing room. His nerves were getting the best of him. Of course he had forgotten to take his meds earlier but he knew he'd be fine. Unfortunately he was still a little bit uneasy and a bit jittery. He was going to debut a new song that night which made him twice as nervous as usual. Normally this would have meant taking a snort of Coke to settle his stage fright but in lue of his enrollment in rehab he would have to find another alternative. _What the hell is wrong with you Craig?_

He shook his head and picked up his cell phone. Maybe he should call Ashley. They had barely spoken since their kiss, in fact he was pretty sure she was ignoring him. In true Ashley fashion, he knew she was analyzing and stratagizing what she should do next in regards to him. Of course he was giving her space. He didn't want to be too pushy but right now he really needed a friend. Just hearing her voice might convince him not to do what he was thinking. He just needed to hear her voice. _Come on Ash pick up!_ he said to himself. He dialed her number but it went straight to voicemail. "Damn it!" he screamed in frustration and threw the phone down. "Fuck this!" he shouted throwing his hands in the air. He thrust his hands across his dressing table violently knocking over everything on top. _All I needed to hear was your fucking voice and you wouldn't pick up your fucking phone. I'll show you. I'll show everyone. I'm Craig fucking Manning!_ He lunged over to his guitar cases and took every single guitar out. _There must be a secret stash somewhere...he thought. _His mind was now racing and he was shaking and moving all around the room. He came to the last one that contained his Fender Strat. He threw the guitar down and checked the lining in the inside. He smiled.He pulled out a baggie of cocaine and stared at it. "My sweet friend_, _my only friend_." _he whispered kissing it. He closed his eyes and held it tightly in his hand. _Why shouldn't I? Ashley hates fucking hates me. She won't even return my damn phone calls. What if everyone hates my song? They're going to laugh at you Craig. How is anyone going to know? You're damned if you do and damned if you don't! _He reasoned. "Fuck this shit," he mumbled emptying the contents.

**(Author's Note: Please if you can review my story! I need some feedback on the progression of this story. I am also writing kind of a prequel to this story not with Craig and Ashley as the main characters but with two other people in this story. Some of that will be revealed in the next two chapters so stay tuned!)**


	15. Twist and Shout

**Chapter 15 "Twist and Shout"**

Paige, Ashley, and Marco ran as fast as they could down the street. They had been stuck in traffic for 30 minutes and decided to make a run for it in order to catch Craig's performance. Marco lagged behind huffing and puffing. "Come on Marco!" Paige yelled out of breath as her and Ashley pulled off their heels. "I'm coming! " he said far behind. "We're almost there!" Ashley shouted back. They turned the corner to see the block lined up with fans and news crew. "Wow I didn't think this many people would have showed up," Ashley replied. " Wasaga Beach Kids Funds is a noble cause but seriously hun what people really want to see is a fallen celebrity screw up even more," Paige explained. "Well I have faith. Craig's gonna do fine," Ashley said. "He better. A lot is riding is on tonight," she told Ashley.

Marco finally caught up to where they were. "I better call Ellie," Paige said as they moved to the front of the line. A couple of people heckled them for skipping ahead, "This better be the best damn song ever. I have blisters the size of watermelons on my feet!" Marco complained. Ashley shook her head. Sometimes Marco could be such a diva. Suddenly the back door swung open and Sean poked his head out. "Over here!" he called. They rushed inside before a few other fans tried to follow them. "I'm so glad you guys' are here. Ellie's been freaking out with all the paparazzi lurking around. You're just in time. Craig's about to perform, " Sean said. They made their way across a sea of people dressed in formal attire. Ashley's heart was racing. She couldn't wait to see Craig perform but at the same time she still hated being around such a large crowd. Sean led them to an exclusive table up front where they all sat down."Wow this place looks amazing. You and Ellie did a fabulous job!" Paige said as took off her coat. "Thanks. Oh that's my cell vibrating. That's Ellie's cue, the show is about to start. See you guys in a bit," he said heading up front. "This is so exciting!" Marco said getting all giddy.

Ashley was starting to feel a little dizzy around such a huge crowd. "I'm feeling a little thristy, you guys want something?" Ashley asked finding an excuse to leave for a second. They both shook their heads. "Suit yourself," she said walking to the lobby area. She sat down at the bar and ordered a Martini. One of the waiters turned on the tv as she waited. The bartender handed her the drink and she moved down a few seats to get a closer look. Ellie and Sean walked on the stage. Ashley couldn't believe how lovely Ellie looked. She was almost envious of her friend being pregnant and all but at the same time she was glad Ellie had finally gotten the happy ending she deserved. Maybe there was still a chance she could have a nice little ending herself.

"Good evening everyone! We're so glad you could come out and support our charity, The Wasaga Beach Kids Fund. We just want to say thank you once again for all that you've done," Ellie said. "Yeah so far tonight we've raised over 10,000! That's way more than we expected and the money will be used to fund educational programs to keep not only kids in Wasaga off the streets but also to our former high school, Degrassi Community School. Now without further ado, I would like to introduce a very special guest and friend of ours, Craig Manning!" The crowd cheered. Craig walked out on stage in a 60s style suit and sunglasses. The thought of Craig trying to look like a cool made Ashley want to giggle. She knew anytime he wore shades onstage he was insanely nervous.

"How is everyone tonight?!" he screamed. The crowd cheered again. "I want to make one thing clear tonight. This is about charity tonight not me, not how much money you can flash or boast about in an auction but its about these kids. I know first hand how drugs and violence can wreck your life. For anyone dealing with those demons its rough... but there is hope. This song is for someone who has always inspired me and has given me my hope. I took me years to finally finish this one song, its called "Shine". Ashley almost choked on her drink.

--

Craig's face felt numb and sweaty as he headed off stage. He could hear the crowd still cheering as he headed for his dressing room. "Great show!" someone said as he made his way backstage. He slammed the door and threw off his suit jacket. He couldn't believe he had actually done a hit of cocaine before performing at a charity event. Even though he was still a little bit high he felt low, lower than low practically scum. He had performed "Shine" for Ashley in hopes she would be there tonight but after much examination through the crowd he didn't see her. In a way he was glad. He couldn't face her after what he did. She was rooting for him like she had always done and now he was going to disappoint her again. He grabbed a water bottle out the fridge and guzzled it. It was then he heard a knock at the door.

"Go away!" he yelled. They knocked again. "I told you go away!" he shouted opening the door. It was Ashley. He didn't know what to say. Her face looked confused. "Its ok. I can leave," she said looking down. He sighed. "Sorry. Come in," he said barely acknowledging her presence. He tried not to stare but she looked beautiful and sexy all at once. He had never seen her look like this and it was driving him wild. He didn't know if it was the drugs or not but he was feeling a range of emotions; mad, angry, sad, and extremely turned on all at once. He sat down on the couch and ran his fingers through his hair as she just stood there. There was a bit of awkwardness in the air. He didn't want to be the first one to speak. "Ellie said you probably wouldn't mind me coming back here but I can leave if you want," she said looking for a response. "No you're fine," he mumbled staring off into space. She finally sat down acoss from him in a big chair.

"To be honest I'm just wondering why you've been avoiding me all week. I called you several times at the office and today. You treat as if I'm the fucking plague Ashley. It been hard for me. Rehab, trying to write new songs. All with little support from my friends. It meant a lot for me to know you were going to come to the show tonight," he explained. She was fumbling with something in her hands but he didn't bother asking her what it was. "I don't know. I'm sorry. I guess I've been afraid to admit how I really feel. I did see the show and you were great. And despite what you think, I didn't forget how important this week was. I got this for you," she said handing him a small red box. He took it and opened it up. It was a tiny marbled pin.

"Its for successfully completing 7+ days drug free. I know its kind of corny but its a phoneix," she added. "Because they always raise from the ashes," they both said together. He kind of smiled. It did look pretty cool. "See I got you to crack! Do you really hate performing that much? I remember the days when you used to come off stage amped. Something's bothering you, what is it?" she asked. He didn't have the guts to tell her the truth about his little cocaine binge. _How could he disappoint her especially after such a thoughtful gift?_ "What makes you think I hate performing? Maybe it has something to do with me putting my feelings out there and you just tip toeing around all of this," he angrily said getting up.

"How's this for tip toeing?" she asked grabbing him and kissing him. He pulled away for a second and grinned. She pushed him down on the couch and climbed on top of him and grinned. Craig wasn't really sure this was actually happening but whatever the case he was going to roll with it anyway. This was a side of Ashley he had never seen but quickly he decided he definitely liked it. She kissed him again this time more forcefully as he grabbed her face. He could feel her soft cool skin against his clothes and it felt nice. They continued to kiss for what seemed like an eternity, his hands now slowly starting to explore her body underneath her dress. She had now pulled away a little bit to catch her breathe. He used this opportunity to begin kissing her neck making his way slowly down to her chest. She trembled a little bit as his hands crept higher up her legs. He could feel her warm breath and hair on his face. She smelled wonderful. Although she didn't seem to be objecting to all of this Craig still felt terrible, guilty about accusing her of not showing up and then doing Coke out of spite. He realized it was a lame excuse to fix his craving. He also realized at this moment he shouldn't be thinking all of this, instead he should have been enjoying the moment. It was rare for Ashley to be this animalistic.

"We're better stop," he said gently starting to push her away. She rested her head on his shoulder for a bit to catch her breath before saying, "Okay". She sighed, getting up. _You think you're frustrated_, he thought. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked running her fingers through her hair. "No. Its not you. You're perfect. I don't know... I just need to get out of this place. Do you want to go somewhere more private so we can talk?" he asked. "Sure," she nodded. They both readjusted their clothes and headed for the door. "You got a little lipstick on your face," she added laughing pointing at him. "Very funny," he said spalshing some water on his face and grabbing a Kleenex wiping his lips. He kissed her on the forehead. Craig jumped ahead of her to open the door. "Allow me," he replied opening it. Ashley rolled her eyes and smiled looking back not seeing who was in front of her. It was none other Manny Santos.


	16. Good Night

Chapter 16 "Good Night"

Chapter 16 "Good Night"

_Close your eyes and I'll close mine  
Good night Sleep tight  
Now the moon begins to shine  
Good night Sleep tight  
Dream sweet dreams for me  
Dream sweet dreams for you._

"Manny? What are you doing here?" Craig asked angrily. "I should be asking Barbie Doll over here that," she said with eyes sifting over to Ashley. Ashley looked dumbfounded. Craig hadn't seen Manny since their break up weeks ago and now all of a sudden she was suing him for alimony, claiming they had gotten hitched in Las Vegas. And to make matters worse she was now harassing him. Of course he didn't remember any of this but there was no telling what he was capable of while off his medication and on drugs. If Ashley found out he definitely knew they were going to over and this time for good. "What do you want Manny?" he asked trying to pretend he was not afraid of her. "I want to talk to you alone," she replied. Craig looked at Ashley. "Its okay. I'll meet you at the bar. I'm gonna go and tell Paige we're leaving," she said heading down the hall.

Manny mimiced her as she walked away. "Nine years and you're still intimidated of her. Its pathetic," Craig reasoned trying to piss her off. "I don't think so. And you have no room to talk. You were about to pee in your pants. You should have seen the dumb look on your face. Ha! Classic Craig with the deer in the headlights look! I guess that means you're screwing her again" she asked. "That's none of your damn buisness," Craig said trying to hold back his rage. If Manny wasn't a woman he would have thrown her up against the wall and beat the hell out of her. "It kind of is my buisness seeing as I'm your WIFE!" she yelled. "Keep your motherfucking voice down Manny!" he hollered. "Don't worry I'm not going to tell Ashley. I'm going to let you screw this one up all on your own. You can't hide this from her forever. Once the trial goes public she'll know everything. All your dirty little lies will be exposed," she exclaimed. He grabbed her wrist. "Trial?" he said angirly. "That's right. I want a quarter of a million for all my pain and suffering. I was a 'devoted wife'. Dealing with your psychotic bipolar episodes and drug habits has done far too much emotional damage," she explained smirking. "Half the time for were right there with me! You little bitch!" he said slamming his hand against the wall. "I'll let that one slide but next time you won't be so lucky. You're finally gonna get what's coming to you Craig Manning. You have never had to suffer the consquences for your actions! You going to lose everything. Your money, your little D-list career, and now Ashley. I can't wait!" she chuckled. "Get the hell out of here before I call the motherfucking security!" he screamed. She began to walk away and then came back. "And by the way, real nice recycling a song you wrote almost ten years ago," she added winking. He grunted and threw a chair at her down the hall. She ducked and then laughed hysterically.

--

"So where did you disappear to? You've been gone forever! We saw Mr. Raditch and trust me time has not treated him kindly! " Marco said beaming as Ashley approached their table. She could her him but she had other things on her mind, specifically Manny. "No duh Marco, Ashley slipped off into Craig's dressing room. Classic groupie style," Paige chimed in. Ashley pinched her on her arm. Paige winced for a second. "Seriously does this thing have an off button?" Ellie asked standing behind Paige smirking. Ashley laughed a little which eased her mind. "Whoa girls, play nice!" Sean said walking up behind Ellie. "I went to congratulate him, that's all Paige, "Ashley explained rolling her eyes. Ellie grinned and winked at Ashley. Besides Craig, Ellie was the only other person who could see right through her.

"Anyways… I just wanted to thank you guys for coming! And thanks for the donation, it was definitely a huge surprise!" Ellie added. "No problem, I mean with Darcy and Spinner's wedding and representing Craig we have a little more disposable income. What better way to give back, "Ashley added. "Yeah, Ellie you did an amazing job," Marco told her. "Yeah, I don't know how Ellie does it all but she's definitely my superwoman," Sean said kissing her. Ashley smiled. She was glad to see Sean and Ellie were going strong.

A waiter then passed by with a tray full of food. Ellie grabbed a few hand full of appetizers and began to munch down. "Eat much hun?" Paige barked. Ellie flipped her off. "Just ignore that Paige. Its just the hormones," Sean explained. "Or the fact that she's a raging bitch," Paige mumbled folding her arms. Marco hit her again. "Okay guys seriously this isn't Degrassi. How about I change the subject? How is Eli?" Marco asked. "He's great. You should really come to see him more often," Sean suggested.

Marco seemed a bit uncomfortable. He and Ellie had a brief and messy relationship two years ago resulting in her getting pregnant. They were still on good terms but since Ellie and Sean got back together he felt it was best to stay out of the picture. Marco wasn't ready to be a parent anyways and figured Sean would be a better father to Eli than he ever could.

"Speaking of Eli, where is that adorable little boy?" Ashley asked trying to lighten the mood. "Oh he's with one of Ellie's girlfriends back in Wasaga," Sean said. "Speaking of that I need to call her. I need to say goodnight to my little man before he goes to bed," Ellie said with her mouth stuffed full. "Here's my cell," Sean said . Ellie's face showed some discomfort. "Are you okay?" Ashley asked concerned. "Oh its nothing. Just a little heartburn. It comes and goes. I'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom," Ellie told them. "Alright baby," Sean told her kissing her on the cheek as she walked away. "I hate to cut this short guys but I see a few people from the shop I want to thank," Sean told all of them. "Oh no problem. Go head," Marco said.

As Sean left the table, Craig walked towards them. "Craig! Fantastic performance! I must say I'm impressed!" Paige shouted as he said down beside Marco. "Well what can I say I am Craig Mannning?" he gloated. "Ashley are you ready to go?" he asked wrapping his arm around her. "Yes! I thought you'd never ask" she eagerly said. "So soon. We need to celebrate! We've barely hung out all night. I mean come on what about the after party?" Marco told Craig. "Not tonight," Craig said. "Yeah I'm a bit tired," Ashley added fake yawning. Craig almost laughed which made her smile. At this point she didn't really care what they thought. She just excited to see Craig and not to mention he was away from Manny. "Yeah whatever," Paige said. "Well have fun! Don't get into too much trouble," Marco yelled waving. "Oh we will!" Craig added. He got up and grabbed Ashley's hand as they walked out.

"So where to?" he asked. Ashley bit her lip a little. She wanted to trust Craig but she needed to be sure nothing was going on with him and Manny. After all she had put herself out there, she just needed some reassurance. "I don't mean to be a diva but what was that whole thing with Manny back there?" she asked. Craig sighed. He could either tell Ashley the truth and lose her for good or he could keep it a secret until he found out what was really going on. "Ashley, I need to tell you something," he said placing both of his hands on hers. Suddenly there was a scream. They both turned around to see what all the commotion was. Paige came running into the lobby. "Someone call 911! Please somebody!" she hollered hysterically. Craig got out his cell phone. "What's going on?" he asked. "Its Ellie! She's hurt. There's blood everywhere," she cried hugging Ashley. "One of our friends is hurt. There's blood everywhere. She's pregnant. I don't know what happened. Just please hurry! We're at The Piedmont Opera House" Craig shouted to the operator. Ashley just stood there frozen.

"Ashley! Are you okay?" Paige asked. Ashley didn't say anything. It was if she were in a trance. She kept thinking about Ellie losing her babies like she had lost her little girl. Soon she began to feel dizzy and the room began to spin. "Ashley!" Craig cried. It was the last thing she remembered.


	17. If I Fell

Chapter 17 "If I Fell"

**Chapter 17 "If I Fell"**

**_If I fell in love with you_**_**  
**_**_Would you promise to be true_**_**  
**_**_And help me understand_**_**  
**_**_'cause I've been in love before_**_**  
**_**_And I found that love was more_**_**  
**_**_Than just holding hands_**__**_If I give my heart to you_**_**  
**_**_I must be sure_**_**  
**_**_From the very start …_**

Ashley's eyes cringed at the beam of sunlight peaking through her window. She unwillfully sat up wondering why the darkness was gone. She slowly managed to see a tall figure sitting in her arm chair. It was Craig. "What are you doing here?" she asked all groggy and hoarse. "Paige called,I came to get you out of this dungeon," he replied. It had been about three days since she had been outside of her room. She was too depressed to leave seeing all that had happened in the past few days. "Its not a dungeon. Its my bedroom and I want you to get out," she said in a harsh tone. She could see the words sting across his face and instantly she felt bad. Despite this she still wanted to be alone. She covered her face with her hands and sighed. "Ashley, you've barely eaten anything or talked to anyone. Everyone's been worried sick about you. Toby's debating whether or not to call Kate. Even Ellie's asking about you. Sean hasn't said anything. He doesn't want to worry her since the baby and all," he explained. _The baby_. She thought.

Ellie had to have an emergency c-section and lost one of the babies, a girl just like Ashley had. It was too much for her to bare. She felt like dying when she had lost her child and now Ellie was going through the same thing. "Is she okay?" Ashley asked starting at the ceiling. Craig could barely hear her. "Maybe you would know if you got up out of bed. Ashley c'mon now. You can't die in forever," he replied. She rolled over and lied there not wanting to move. She opened her mouth but couldn't speak.

"I.. I wished I my kid would die Craig. I wished I had never gotten pregnant. I guess I got what I deserved but I,... I didn't... I couldn't raise her with that monster as a father. And look what happened. At least Ellie was a good person and she still lost her baby," she cried. Craig sat down on the bed next to her. He wasn't good with expressing his feelings or comforting other people but this was Ashley. She needed him.

"You know I've never been a religious person... but maybe in some weird way God knows what he's doing. I'm sure he knew you really didn't want her to die. Maybe he knew your child would be in harm's way if she would have been born. And Ellie, she didn't lose both her children. She still has Sean and Eli plus another baby boy," he said. "And you're not an awful person," he said stroking her hair. She rolled over eyes, all puffy and red. "Yes I am. Somehow I always manage to blow everything out of proportion. I panicked when I heard about Ellie. I'm sorry for lashing out on you. I never stopped to think about how much trouble I am to everyone else. I'm sorry for the way I am," she said wiping her tears. "Its okay. Nothing compared to what I've done. I regret everything I've ever done to hurt you. Things won't be this way forever Ash. We're both fighters. We always make it through," he said lying next to her. He wrapped his arms around Ashley and kissed her forehead. He wanted to tell her so bad about everything he was going through, Manny, the drugs but he knew she might not be able to handle it at this moment. He just wanted to lie there with her and forget it all.

"Craig," she stated looking up at him. "Yes?" he said. Even when she looked sad, her eyes still shined with a glimmer of hope. She looked beautiful even in her misery. "I'm gonna start going to counseling. There's some things I need to deal with before you know... us. If there is an us," she explained staring at him. His heart pounded fast. She said _us_. It was the first time he found himself not doubting her feelings. "There can an us," he grinned grabbing her hand. They interlocked their fingers. "Can you just lie here with me?" she asked. "Ok," he whispered. He wanted to tell her he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her at that every moment but he the time wasn't right. He wondered what she was thinking.

Ashley closed her eyes as Craig held her tight. She was convinced he would never do anything to hurt her ever again


	18. I Don't Want To Spoil The Party Part 1

**Author's Note: Sorry its been a while! I've had really bad writer's block but I'm glad I got this first part over with it because I'm really excited for the next one! Part Two is really gonna be explosive so PLEASE stay tuned!**

"_**I Don't Want To Spoil The Party (Part One)" **_

_Though tonight she's made me sad,  
I still love her,  
If I find her I'll be glad,  
I still love her.__  
_

The next few weeks were pretty amazing for Ashley. Spinner and Darcy's wedding had been postponed due to a death in Darcy's family which gave her some well needed time off from her busy work schedule. In a short time she had made good progress in her therapy and was spending more and more time with Craig. In fact they had become inseperable spending all their free time with one another. Craig was very romantic, much more than he had previously been in the past. He was always writing her love notes and was constantly thinking of creating ways to surprise her with flowers or a home cooked dinner. He never pressured her to have sex and was supportive of her decision to wait until she dealt with her issues in regards to Jimmy and the baby she had lost. Craig also re-awakened her interest in music, something she had put aside for almost two years. He was even teaching her to play the guitar. She loved being around him. He always made her laugh and told her not to take herself so seriously all the time. He really was her best friend. She felt so lucky and grateful to have someone in her life like him. A few weeks ago she would have never imagined she could be happy with someone like Craig Manning but it was like he had totally changed into a different person.

Craig was writing and creating music again and finally decided to make another album. He enjoyed having Ashley around to not only to inspire him but also to help him with arrangements and vocals. He was afraid he would lose Ashley once she found out he had relapsed not once but several times so he did whatever he could to show her how much he cared. He was delighted that he was back with Ashley he was still somewhat unhappy. For some reason Ashley wanted to keep their relationship a secret and although Paige already knew secretly, Ashley refused to tell any of their close friends about the two of them. To top it off, Manny would call him throughout the week, taunting him and with all the stress he was facing he felt defeated thus turning to cocaine. He wanted to tell Ashley, he really did. On some level he knew she might be able to understand but she was doing so well with her therapy and he didn't want to see her relapse into depression again. He figured the hearing and trial would be over soon and he prayed to God the whole marriage thing was just Manny's cruel idea of revenge.

---------

It was sunny afternoon as he watched Ashley paint one of the walls in his old house. He smiled."You're during it all wrong," he said as she suddenly turned around. She was wearing one his old plaid shirts and white shorts. She looked so adorable. "Funny you should talk because I'm the one helping you," she replied grinning mischeviously. "I don't want to hear any lip from you missy, now… come down from that ladder and give me a kiss" he said coming closer. She smiled more. "I don't think so," she said brushing his nose with paint. He grabbed the paint brush and picked her up quickly throwing her over his shoulder running all over the living as she screamed her head off. "Put me down!" she playfully hollered. "Resistance is futile!" he uttered slapping her butt. "Oh you're gonna pay for that!" she yelled back. He ran some more and then finally threw her down on the couch. "Now I said give me a kiss," he said pinning her down as she was out of breath. "Nope," she said grinning. "Ok, you asked for it!"he replied tickling her. She erupted with laughter and begged for mercy trying to get away. "Please please! I swear I will never ever ever do that again,"she screamed smiling. "I guess I can make an exception," he told her kissing her. She wrapped her arms around him and continued to kiss him. Soon the telephone rang. They both ignored it for a while enjoying each other's kisses. His hand began to creep up her shirt. She pushed his hand down gently. "You better get it," she whispered. "I'd much rather be doing this than answering the telephone," he added in between kisses as it still rang. She raised up a little. "Craig its probably important. Besides we don't want to get too carried away," she explained with a stern look in her eye. He sighed and got up. She felt bad and could sense he was starting to get frustrated.

'Hello?" Craig answered. "Glad to see you're answering your phone Craig," Paige bitched. "Sorry. I was _almost_ in the middle of something," he sighed glaring at Ashley. Ashley sighed as well. "I talked to your lawyer today Craig," she said. Craig's heart practically stopped. He knew Paige and his lawyer had been trying for weeks to figure out what happened the night he and Manny had supposedly gotten hitched in Vegas. "And?" he uttered. There was a short pause. "I'm sorry but you really are married to Manny," she replied. He stood there speechless. "How is that even possible?!" he whispered leaving the room. "She has the wedding license, Craig. Are you sure you don't remember anything?" she asked again. Craig wanted to scream. "Why do you keep asking me that? I think I would know if I married someone. The only person I have ever wanted to marry has been Ashley!" he angrily stated. "Well unfortunately you did get married except to Manny. I can't keep quiet any longer. If you won't tell Ashley then I will. She deserves to know the truth Craig!" Paige yelled over the phone. "No. I need to tell her. I'm telling her everything tonight. We were gonna tell everyone we were back together tonight. I don't want to ruin Spinner and Darcy's party," he told her. "I'll give you tonight but otherwise I'm telling her tomorrow. This has gone on for too long Craig. Man up!" she explained. "Thank you so much Paige," he said as she hung up. He left out a sigh of relief.

"Is everything okay?" Ashley said peaking her head outside. "Just legal stuff." Craig mumbled sitting down at the patio table. She joined him outside and sat on his lap. "You know you can talk to me about that stuff too, I'm not as fragile as I used to be" she repiled holding his hand. "I know I just don't want you to worry." he said looking off into the distance. She could tell he was really stressed. She grabbed his hand. "You know I was thinking after Spinner's party maybe we could go back to your place to be alone. Maybe I could spend the night.. you know, whatever you like," she said grinning. Craig shifted in the chair a little. _Did she just say what he thought she said?_ "Really?" he asked trying not to grin too hard. She smiled back and shook her head almost about to snicker. He was totally obvious. "Why not? You've been so patient with me and besides I think I'm finally ready," Ashley explained. Guilt sunk in. Ashley had been so amazing, so understanding. She didn't deserve such a creep like him. "This is a huge step for us Ashley. I don't want you to regret being with me," Craig repiled. "Why would I regret being with you? Its not easy for me to say how I feel given everything with Jimmy, but Craig at least this way I can show you," she stated staring at him. He hated lying to her. She was trying to be honest and making an effort to please him and all he was going to do was break heart all over again. He had to tell her. He cleared his throat. "There's something I need to tell you. Its been on my mind for a while now and..." he hesistated. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "Shit its three o'clock! We're supposed to be Spinner's at four. I've got to run home shower and get dressed," she replied grabbing her things. "Why don't we just stay in tonight? Just sit and talk, he suggested. "There will be plenty of time to sit and talk later Craig,' she laughed giving him a quick kiss. He grabbed her face and kissed her again this time longer and more passionately. She pulled back and looked at him strangely. "Are you sure everything's okay?" she asked. "Ashley I love you. I don't want to lose you," he blurted out. Her face looked like she had just seen a ghost. He realized it was the first time either one of them had said those words in years. He wanted her to say it back. _God, say something. Say anything._ He thought. Now he knew how she must have felt all those years ago. She kissed his cheek awkwardly. "Craig I'll see you at the party," she said giving a fake smile and heading out the door. He closed it and sat back down on the couch. He didn't have a good feeling about tonight at all.


	19. I Don't Want To Spoil The Party Part 2

**"I Don't Want To Spoil The Party" (Part Two)**

**Author's Note:**

**Sorry its been so long! This was a really dramatic chapter and very hard to write. I promise not to keep you guys waiting so long in the future! Next chapter will be up ASAP! **

_***Also in case you didn't know, the reference to Trina is the girl that Jimmy cheated on Ashley with in Season 7.***_

Craig paced back and forth before he entered The Dot for Spinner and Darcy's party. Ashley had called him earlier to say that she would be riding with Paige instead and to go ahead without her. She had made some excuse about running behind which he had suspected was untrue but maybe he was just jumping to conclusions. He decided tonight would be the night he finally told her the truth. He couldn't keep these secrets any longer, it was making him way too paranoid and edgy. So edgy that he picked up some reinforcement, more cocaine. He grabbed the small baggie out of his pocket and stared at it. He had come so far recently. He was making music again, reconnecting with old friends, and of course he had gotten back together with Ashley but he couldn't run from his old demons forever. There was a nagging reality that he could never break his addiction, his album might fail, Manny would rob him penniless, and worst of all Ashley would leave him for good. One thing was for sure, he was tired of the what ifs. If Ashley really did love him, she would stick with him through it all , the good and the bad . As much as he hated to think about it, he had made it not once but twice without her and he was sure he could possibly do it again. He glanced down again at the cocaine and gripped it in his hand. _What are you doing Craig? You don't need this stuff._ he thought to himself.

"Craig? What are you doing out here so early?" someone asked. He panicked and rushed to stuff the small bag into his pocket. It was Spinner. "Oh nothing. Just decided to walk and clear my head before the party," he said nervously. "Everything alright?" Spinner asked curiously holding trash bags and tossing them into the dumpster. Craig sighed. Maybe Spinner would understand. He had once been an outcast and with him being somewhat religious he thought perhaps he trust him.

"If I tell you something. Will you promise not to judge me?" Craig asked earnestly. "Yeah man. What's up?" Spin asked. "Me and Ash, we've been getting pretty close lately. We've both been through a lot this past year," he said messing with his jacket. Spinner nodded. "Yeah I know. She took it real hard when Jimmy died. Just closed herself off from everybody. I'm glad you guys are friends again. Making music again, its always been you guys' thing. Heard she even went to some of your group meetings with you," Spinner replied. Craig bit his lip. "That's the thing. I don't want to disappoint her. She's been a great friend. Spending time with her has helped me. I wouldn't know how to tell her this but I haven't been exactly clean lately," he spilled nervously. Spinner raised his eyebrow careful not to overreact. "You mean you relapsed?" he paused for a second, "And let me guess you have feelings for her," he added rolling his eyes. "No…well... yes. We've been kind of seeing each other but she doesn't want anyone to know. We've been taking things slow. Very slow and I might of kind of told her I loved her and she freaked out," he said. Spinner shook his head. "Whoa!?! Slow down… so let me get this straight. You guys hooked up and you told her you loved her?" Spinner asked. "No not "hooked" up. Just kissed. Nothing more but yeah I did tell her I loved her," Craig answered. Spinner let out a huge deep breath. "What is it with you two?... Look I know you might love her and all but you're forgetting her fiancé just died. I don't think she'll ever get over him. Jimmy was the love of her life. She's in a real vunerable position Craig. You're familar terrority. Things have been so crazy she's probably latching on to you because its comfortable. Simply You need to tell her the truth man or else this is all going to blow up in your face." Definitely not the reaction Craig was looking for. Spinner didn't seem to understand him after all. "Spinner, Jimmy's been dead for a year. You don't know what kind of person Jimmy was," he added getting furious. "I know about Trina and I also know about Paris. But also know Jimmy was in the picture long before you even knew Ashley. And yes that was stupid thing for him to do to try to steal Ashley from you but still. She was the one that decided to come back with him. She made her choice and she chose Jimmy. You haven't exactly treated her with respect either over the years. If you really care about her like the way you say you do you need to give her time, time to heal. I don't want either of you to get hurt. Just tell her the truth," he said.

Just then Paige pulled up in her SUV with Ashley and Marco inside. "Look I've got to finish helping Darcy fix dinner but seriously think about what I said," Spinner told him walking back inside. Craig glanced at Ashley as she got out of the car and then back at Spinner.

"Hey," Ashley said softly walking up to him. She tucked her hair back behind her ear nervously. "Hey," he said back trying to gauge her. Marco and Paige watched quitely from the sidewalk. Ashley turned around. "Can I speak to Craig alone?" she coughed, signaling for her two friends to leave. "Come on Marco let's see if they've got any booze inside. Somehow I've got a feeling we're gonna need it tonight." Paige suggested as Marco gave them a harmless glare. "So I guess you're not avoiding me after all," Craig stated. Ashley gave him an understanding look. "Fair enough... look...I'm sorry about earlier. Its just…I didn't expect to hear those words so soon. I kind of panicked. It was stupid," she explained looking around. "Its fine. I didn't expect it either or at least for it to come out like that but I can't help the way I feel Ashley. And that's why you need to know everything about me," he added. "I know everything I need to know. Do you think honestly I would still be with you if I didn't feel the same way you do? And you know what? People are gonna think I'm crazy but I don't care anymore. Come on," she said grabbing his hand and interlocking it with hers. He smiled. "Are you sure you want to do this? Make it public and all?" he asked. "Yes," she replied kissing him. He felt shameful for ever doubting her. He pulled away as she smiled back at him. "You make me very happy Craig Manning," Ashley said kissing him again on the cheek. "Okay then. Let's do this," he said as they walked in together.

------------------

The night had gone much more smoother than Ashley had expected. No one really seemed to be that surprised about her and Craig getting back together and besides the occasional bad joke about their past everyone seemed to be okay with the whole situation. Spinner did seem awfully quiet compared to his usual self but other than that the small get together was actually fun. "That meal was delicious Darcy! I must say you quite the chef Ms. Edwards or should I say Mrs. Mason," Paige said pushing her plate to the side. "Why thank you. Desert anyone? I've got homemade blueberry cobbler. Oh and vanilla icream!" she chimed happily. Craig and Ashley made silly faces at each other and laughed to themselves. Spinner mimiced them. Paige giggled. Darcy shot her a sharp cold look. "Well I don't think I can eat anymore! I'm stuffed!" Marco added. "Well I'm not. Send me a big bowl NOW!" Ashley replied. "Me too," said Craig smiling back at her. She grabbed his hand from across the table and rubbed it affectionately. Spinner glanced over at the both of them blankly and sat up in his chair. "Ashley, I've been meaning to ask you something. It was going to be a surprise Saturday at the wedding but Darcy and I figured we need your approval in lue of tonight's announcement and all," he said looking her and then Craig. "Okay… um ask away," she replied confused. Darcy reentered the room with several small bowls of cobbler and placed them on the table. Ashley immediately grabbed one and began to chow down. "Well we wanted to do something to honor Jimmy at the ceremony. We had planned a slideshow with pictures from Degrassi, all of us in the band, your engagement photos, you know.. all the good times we all had together," he explained. Ashley felt herself getting ill. _Good times__**.**_ More like times she wanted to forget. She dropped her spoon down into her bowl. "I guess," she mumbled trying not to seem upset. She couldn't let anyone know what really happened. How Jimmy had beaten her so many times. How horrible he had made her feel. "Great! Do you have any recent photos or anything. Darcy's a perfectionist of course and needs to have as many as possible," he added giving Darcy a small peck as she went back into the kitchen. "I don't have any more pictures of Jimmy. I got rid of all of them. All of them," she said vacantly closing her eyes trying to forget everything. Craig looked over at her to see if she was okay. He knew this was probably eating her up inside.

"So you mean to tell me you don't have any pictures of Jimmy. Surely you must have one left?" Spin asked. Paige stood up and touched Spinner on the shoulder. "Spin," Paige said shaking her head and nodding to Ashley was clearly getting upset. "What? Ashley seriously you've got to have something," he said again. "Leave her alone Spinner, I'm warning you," Craig said getting all defensive. "Warning me? Why is everyone getting so upset? All I asked about was pictures. It sounds like to me you'd rather she just forgot about Jimmy. Remember your former best friend?" Spinner angrily shouted. "Jimmy wasn't who you guys thought he was! I'm tired of people walking around here like the guy was a fucking saint. Well guess what? You want to know what kind of person he was? He beat Ashley! He beat Ashley okay! " Craig yelled angrily hitting the table. Ashley's face dropped. She couldn't believe what he had said. The one secret she had trusted him with, he had revealed. She sat there speechless unable to move. Everyone was silent for a second until Paige spoke up. "Don't you dare talk about Jimmy that way! You and your lies! How dare you! You're not so innocent yourself," Paige screamed in front of Craig. He had now realized what he had just said and regretably sat back down in his chair. "Paige please, " Ashley begged tears running down her face. "Ashley, listen to me," she said looking straight at her. "This whole time he's been lying to you. I wanted to tell you but I didn't want you to get hurt. He's been married to Manny this whole time!" "What?!" Marco yelled. "What's going on? Is everything okay?" Darcy said running back to the table.

"Is it true Craig? Are you really married to Manny?" Ashley said getting up and staring at him. "Ashley let me explain," he replied. "I asked you a question. Are you married to Manny Santos? ARE YOU MARRIED TO MANNY, CRAIG!!!" she hollered trembling. The painful look in her eyes made him want crawl under a rock and die. "Yes but no…let me explain please!" he pleaded. Ashley thrusted the bowl of cobbler at him. Marco covered his mouth in shock. "No let me explain. In case you guys are all wondering, yes its true! Jimmy Brooks beat me. I didn't want anybody to know. I kept it a secret all this time. He's the reason why I miscarried. He pushed my down the stairs and I lost my baby because of it. The night that Jimmy died I left him for good. He said if I ever left him he'd commit suicide and he did," she yelled sobbing. "But Jimmy died from an accident," Spinner said all confused. "No its not true. He didn't! Its my fault. His parents covered it up. They didn't want anyone to know the truth," she said crying covering her face. "Why didn't you tell us? Why didn't you tell us." Paige screamed back. "Why didn't you tell me about Craig?" she said throwing her hands up and running off. "Its not Paige's fault. Please!Wait!" Craig said chasing after her. Paige tried to follow. Marco stopped her. "Let him go after her," Marco whispered.

Ashley ran as hard as she could. She coouldn't breath. She wanted to escape. She needed to be anywhere but where Craig was. "ASHLEY!" he called. "Don't follow me!" Ashley almost fell down. He caught her before she could fall.. "I never meant to hurt you. I was going to tell you. I was trying to tell you," he argued holding her. "How could you do that to me? First you tell everyone about Jimmy and then I find out you've been married to Manny this whole time?" she cried. "I trusted you. I believed you!" she hollered. He wanted to hold her in arms forever and tell her everything is was going to be okay but he knew that wouldn't be enough. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You have to forgive me. Please," he replied trying to grab her hand as she moved away. "No, don't touch me," she hollered again. "Please! I need you. I love you" he cried. As he reached for her again the small bag of cocaine that was in his pocket fell out. "Oh you love me alright. Just as much as that stuff huh? You asshole! Everything you said has been a lie. Nothing but a lie!" She grabbed it and threw it out into the street and started to hit him. "Wait! Let me explain," he said. She finally let go. "No! I don't want you to explain. I should have known. Don't talk to me. Don't call me," she said running away. He wanted to go after her. He would run after all night if he had to but for now he had to let her go. He sat down on the curb and tried to calm himself down. "Craig? Are you okay?" Darcy asked stepping out of the restaurant. "I don't know," he said as he watched Ashley fade off into the distance. "I don't know."


	20. The Long And Winding Road Part One

**Chapter 20 **

**The Long And Winding Road **(Part One)

_The long and winding road__  
__That leads to your door__  
__Will never disappear__  
__Ive seen that road before__  
__It always leads me her__  
__Lead me to you door_

_The wild and windy night__  
__That the rain washed away__  
__Has left a pool of tears__  
__Crying for the day__  
__Why leave me standing here__  
__Let me know the way__Many times Ive been alone__  
__And many times Ive cried__  
__Any way youll never know__  
__The many ways Ive tried_

_But still they lead me back__  
__To the long winding road__  
__You left me standing here__  
__A long long time ago__  
__Dont leave me waiting here__  
__Lead me to your door_

_But still they lead me back__  
__To the long winding road__  
__You left me standing here__  
__A long long time ago__  
__Dont leave me waiting here__  
__Lead me to your door__  
__Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah_

"Thanks for the tea Ellie," Ashley said as Ellie sat down next to her on the couch. They both stared at Ellie's newborn little boy sound asleep in his crib. "No problem," Ellie replied giving a meager smile. Ashley sighed and took a long sip from her cup. She had been on the road just traveling for miles trying to get as far away from everything as she could. 5 hours later she had ended up in Wasaga Beach, right at Ellie and Sean's doorstep. She had cried her eyes out and told Ellie how Paige and Craig had betrayed her along with the confession of her abusive relationship with Jimmy. Ellie, who was still shocked at it all rocked back and forth in an old chair lamenting on everything as Ashley stared off into the distance. Ashley sat up and turned to Ellie. "How do you do it? Keep it all together.... you seem to be doing fine. Much better than I was when I lost Ruby. That's what I was wanna name her, El. Ruby," Ashley said breaking her silence. "Don't let this calm exterior fool you. Beneath it lies a woman just as heartbroken as you were. I felt like dying when they told me little Danielle didn't make it. But I'm glad Sean Travis made it okay. I thank God everyday for Sean and both my little men. Even though Danielle is gone, I have the boys, the rest of my family and my friends," Ellie explained grabbing her hand. Ashley had a look of guilt on her face. "Well I haven't been a very good friend lately. I should have been there for you. Really I'm sorry. Look at me this is just awful. Its practically midnight and I'm at your house ranting about the past and guy problems," she added. "Not just any guy problems, _Craig Manning_ guy problems," Ellie lightly chuckled. Tears started to form in Ashley's eyes. _Perhaps that wasn't the best comment,_ Ellie reasoned shaking her head. "Hey, its okay," Ellie said holding her. "I really do care about him but I'm hurt. I'm hurt really bad El. He lied to me." Ashley revealed bawling up her fists and lightly puching the couch. Ellie said a secret prayer. She couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Ashley please don't hate me but you need to hear this. You know I love you. And I hate to be brutally honest but..." Ellie began. "But you're going to anyway, " Ashley interrupted moving away. Ellie cleared her thorat. "There....there are times when you've been selfish. When it comes to Craig, its always been about how you felt. Yes he's done some shitty things to you hell to everyone but neither one of you have been that innocent over the years." Ashley rolled her eys. "Just listen please. Did you ever stop to consider how he feels? You left him not once but twice for another dude and not to mention without an explaination. This time around you didn't even hear his side of the story. You ran before he could even explain himself. I'm not saying what he did was right but if you really care about him like you say you do, the least you can do is hear him out. Its hard to give up addicitions. Trust me, I know more than anybody. Right now he's probably feeling just as scared and alone as you are. And yes if he's married to Manny he should have told you before you guys got together but quite frankly it doesn't matter. He's always loved you. When we were younger I always thought it was Manny I had to compete against but really it was you. You've always been in the back in the back of his mind. You've always had his heart. Even when you where 5,000 miles away. I couldn't compete against that. Neither could Manny. If there's one thing I know about Craig, its that he loves you." Ellie explained. Ashley looked away. If though she didn't want to admit it Ellie was somewhat true. "Sometimes love isn't enough El," Ashley replied. "Well it should be. All I'm saying is if you really love him like I think you do, don't just throw it away. Life is too short." she said looking at her son.

"Look its getting late. And I'm exhausted. You're welcome to stay since its so late if you want," Ellie suggested getting up. "Thanks," Ashley said. "Good I'll get you a blanket." she told her heading to the other room. Ellie was right. Life was too short.


	21. The Long And Winding Road Part Two

**Hey everyone! Sorry its been so long again but I'm back with two new chapters to make up for the wait. Thanks to Craig-Ashley website that featured this fan fic! (I couldn't write the web address in here) but thanks! And please review these lastest chapters! I'm always looking for feedback!**

Loud angsty girl rock blasted as Ashley speed down the highway on her way home. She was just 20 minutes outside of Toronto and about 4 hours late for various meetings with vendors to finalize everything for Darcy's wedding. She had gotten so carried away with running way that she had overslept at Ellie and Sean's earlier this morning. She thought maybe heading to Wasaga would give her some clarity on what to do about Craig but no matter what she still felt the same way. She was mad. She was angry. Oddly enough she still wondered if Craig was okay.

The words from Ellie's mouth kept echoing in her head as she drove. _This time around you didn't even hear his side of the story. You ran before he could even explain himself. I'm not saying what he did was right but if you really care about him like you say you do, the least you can do is hear him out." _

Maybe she had reacted too harshly. Maybe she did need to hear his side of the story. She turned off the radio which was starting to get on her nerves and took a long sip from her bottle of water. All of this was crazy she thought. It had always been crazy and dysfunctional but in her heart she wanted to be with Craig. She always had.

"_You've always been in the back in the back of his mind. You've always had his heart. Even when you where 5,000 miles away." _

She remembered Ellie sending her emails and calling her begging her to talk to a depressed Craig the summer she left for England. She had never ever addressed it with him but she was pretty sure their break up put him over the edge the first time causing him to run away from home and wander the streets so many years ago.

Her mind went back to the very last time she left him in were coming back from the hospital where he had just had his stomach pumped for an overdose.

Ashley slammed the hotel room door shut.

_"Craig I can't do this anymore!" she shouted._

_"Ashley! You're overacting! It was nothing!" he yelled back._

_"Nothing? You had your stomach pumped! You flat lined! I was scared out of my mind. I thought you were going to die!" she screamed._

_"It was nothing! Just a bad batch." he added all causally sitting on the nearby couch._

_"Listen to yourself! I can't do this. I can't. I'm going home Craig. Jimmy's coming to pick me up in a little bit," she said sobbing packing her things._

_"Jimmy?! My so called best friend Jimmy? This whole time he wasn't here to visit. He was here trying to get you back!" he said shocked._

_"It wasn't like that. Jimmy loves me. He's got his life together." she explained._

_"So this whole time everything between us has been a lie?" Craig asked raising his voice._

_She was silent. "No. I love you but if you really loved me you wouldn't be putting me through hell constantly. Jimmy can take care of me. You're never going to change. I love you but I can't... I can't do this anymore!"_

_"You're supposed to be the love of my life. You're supposed to be my best friend. If I need help so bad then why are you abandoning me? Okay so things have been a little crazy but Jimmy is just an easy way out. Just London was an easy way out. If I need help like you say, if you love me than stay. Why won't you stay?_

_" I just can't be with you anymore!" she cried._

_"I love you. Don't leave." he cried as she headed towards the door. He broke down crying._

_"Goodbye," she mumbled trying to hold back her own tears._

Looking back she wasn't proud of herself that day. He was right. Jimmy was an easy way out. An excuse not to deal with everything.

Joey had called her the following week and revealed that Craig had tried to commit suicide a few days later. She hated herself for running. She had always ran when things had gotten hard and here she was doing it all over again. Craig had never once ran from her in fact he had _always_ chased her.

She remembered back to the beginning of high school when all her friends had abandoned her because of her taking ecstasy. Craig was one of the few people that actually befriended her despite everything. She smiled. She thought of the first time she saw him walking around looking all goofy and aloof with Sean on the first day of school. Most guys didn't bother giving her the time of day because of the way she looked but still he wanted to get to know her. He made her laugh and made her feel beautiful. They would talk for hours about everything from music to photography. He didn't care what she had done the year before. He was interested in what she had to say and liked her for who she was. He was always trying to cheer her up and make her feel better. Even when she was bitter and mean he still loved her. So why did she always pushing away?

But so many times _he _had screwed things up. Maybe it was silly to believe they would make it work after everything that happened over the years. Maybe it was too late. She gripped the steering wheel harder as she tried to hold back her tears. She couldn't let everyone see her this way. How was she going to keep it together during Spinner and Darcy's wedding? She was glad for her friends but she wanted to be happy too. How could she stand seeing them get married when she was losing the love of her life? She wiped her eyes. "I can't lose him. I can't lose Craig," she said out loud.

The sounds of plates and various things being moved distracted Craig as he played his guitar. "God does everything have to so fucking loud! I'm trying to fucking practice here!" he yelled. The priest officiating Darcy and Spinner's wedding glared at him. "Sorry," he yelled in a sarcastic tone. Paige shook her head and carefully approached him. "Hun, can you try to be a little more discreet with the language? Clergy in the midst! Hello!" she shrieked. Paige's voice seemed to be even more annoying than usual. "Heard anything from Ashley?" he asked looking off into space and drinking a Coke. "No. I called Toby and apparently she's not answering anyone's calls. Not even Kate's," she added. _Not good_. _Not good at all._ he thought. "I just hope she's okay. I can understand her not wanting to talk to me but you guys and her family. This isn't like her at all," he explained.

It had been almost 24 hours and no one had heard anything from Ashley. Craig tried not to assume the worst but what if she was hurt or had a horrible car wreck? The thought of not being able to see her again was really tearing him apart but he had to be strong. There was a possibility it was finally over between them. "I'm sure Ashley is fine. Take a break, eat something... take your mind off things," Paige suggested walking back into The Dot.

Craig began to strumming "Don't Bother Me" by The Beatles. He began to sing:

_I know I'll never be the same  
If I don't get her back again  
because I know she'll always be  
The only girl for me _

He kept playing repeating the lyrics. The words and rhythm of the song came naturally to him. He wanted Ashley back so badly, he had always wanted her but in some ways she had become an obsession. He had made himself so sick the previous night thinking of her that he could barely sleep or even eat. Was this all really worth it? She didn't want to have anything to do with him so why was he making himself so miserable over her? He sat down the guitar and rubbed his hands over his face taking a seat on a tree stump. In fact there was probably no accident or no good explanation as to why Ashley had disappeared. She was probably just fine off somewhere wallowing in how awful a person he was to her he thought. If she really cared and loved him she would have at least listened to his side of the story. Didn't she know the only person he ever wanted to marry had been her or how hard it was to deal with everything? She didn't want to have anything to do with him so why was he making himself so miserable over her?

"Do you want to be left alone?" someone said softly.

He knew that voice. He knew it well. He turned around and as he suspected it was her. He was mad for thinking how gorgeous she looked. He was upset at himself for thinking how he wanted to grab her and kiss her and hoping everything would be magically okay. Unfortunately it wasn't that simple. He could hear Paige and Marco approaching from far away but he kept staring at Ashley. "Don't Bother Me from The Beatles right?" she asked.

He continued to look at her wanting her to say something else. Perhaps, _I'm sorry_. Anything but useless banter. Just something to let him know she at least cared. She looked down at her feet like she always did when she didn't know what to say. _Say something_. He thought still staring.

"Ash! Thank God you're okay! We were so worried!" Paige said as both her and Marco hugged her. "Why didn't you call. We were worried?" Marco asked. "I'm sorry I was just..."

"Being Ashley," Craig added cynically breaking the silence. Marco raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry but I just needed to get away. I just went to Wasaga. I left my phone. Its not a big deal," she added a little irritated. How could she be so nonchalant about everything. " Well I guess they don't have phones in Wasaga now do they?" he asked sarcastically. "C'mon Craig just let it go. The past two days have been stressful on all of us," Paige said. "Paige please! It may not be a big deal to you Ashley but your family and friends were worried sick! I was up all night worried something awful had happened to you! You could have at least called!" he shouted. "I'm sorry. What else do you want me to say?" she replied getting upset. "Maybe that you give a damn about someone other than yourself for once!"

"I'm sorry," she mumbled starting to cry.

"Well I'm sorry too. Paige I can't do this. Tell Spinner and Darcy that I won't be able to perform at their wedding," he replied grabbing his things and heading to his car. "What?!" Paige said as he stormed off. "Craig! Don't you think your being a little overdramatic? I'm the one was betrayed!" Ashley yelled back. "Well now you know how it feels. I'm done Ashley. I'm done with you and I'm done with Toronto," he shouted forcefully opening his car door.

"Craig, c'mon, you don't mean that buddy! Don't go!" Marco said chasing him. "No Marco! You're not the one who should chasing after me," he said turning around looking at her. Ashley just stood there motionless. She didn't love him. She didn't care at all. It was gonna be hard but he could live without her. He had done it before and he could do it again. He had to get out of Toronto and away from Ashley for good.


	22. Rain

Chapter 22 "Rain"

There is a slight reference to How I Met Your Mother in here ;) Please review if you have a chance! Please Please Please!

Ashley rubbed her eyes as she put the last finishing touches on her special suprise for Spinner and Darcy's wedding. She decided to do something special for them considering Craig's last minute cancellation was kind of her fault. Darcy didn't say it but Ashley could tell she disappointed when she heard Craig wouldn't be performing. Besides she figured it would get her mind off of Craig for a little but who was she kidding? Her special suprise made it even worse. She had found some old notes Craig had written her, songs, and poems they had give one another many years back. Looking through old photos and yearbooks made her long to be back in high school when things were simpler before she had ruined everything. She sighed and closed her laptop and headed to the bathroom. A nice bubble bath would suffice. She poured herself a glass of red wine and sank down into a tub of warm bubbly water closing her eyes. She stayed in until the skin on her fingers were wrinkly and the water got cold. She wanted to get into bed as soon as possible so she threw on the first thing she could find that was clean.

She could hear Paige at the front door coming in as she headed down the hallway back to her bedroom.

"You're home early," Ashley said leaning over the banister as Paige paraded in with several bags in her hands. "Well the bachelorette party was pretty lame. No booze no liquor. Nothing! I left before they started watching Fireproof," she added hanging up her jacket. "Yikes," Ashley replied amused. "My thoughts exactly. What are you doing up? I thought you'd be sleep by now," Paige said walking up towards her. "Well I couldn't sleep so I decided to make a special video for Spinner and Darcy's reception. Photo collage, video of the two. The works but it just made me more depressed....Paige, I feel horrible about being jealous but I just keep thinking am I going to be happy? I'm scared. I'm disappointed. I've been let down so much by him but I still love him but I wonder with all these problems is it gonna be like it was with Jimmy?" she explained starting to cry.

Paige grabbed her and held her. "Craig isn't Jimmy. I know this might sound weird but its different with you two. I never thought Jimmy was right for you once Craig came along. I always thought you two would wind up together. He gets you and understands you. Hell its something no one else has ever been able to do," she told her. Ashley laughed a little wiping her eyes. Paige grinned. "Look he's made some mistakes but he's been there for you and now its time for you to be there for him. Dysfunctional as you two may be I know you both love each other. You have to make things right or you might lose him for good. Now go! I command it or else there will be hell to pay! " she said pointing towards the door. Ashley pulled back and wiped her eyes. "You're right. Why am I just standing here? Can I borrow your coat?" she asked flying down the stairs. "Yeah but.." Ashley was already halfway out the door. "No time!" she yelled. "...want to put on something else as well..." she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. After a few seconds she ran back in. "Okay so I might need some shoes," she said grabbing some house slippers. "Or real clothes!" Paige yelled turning around but it was no use. Ashley was gone.

Ashley hopped onto her bike and took off for the Fairview hotel downtown. She took out her cell phone almost running into a trash can. "Oh God!" she screamed barely missing it as the phone rung. "Hello," the voice said. "Angie is that you? This is Ashley Kerwin. I need your help! Its urgent," she said pedaling faster.

Smells Like Teen Spirit blasted on Craig's cd player as he packed. He had called Joey earlier and told him he was checking back into rehab and would be back in Vanceovor the following morning. He was going crazy being locked in his hotel room all evening but everything reminded him of Ashley. He had received a rough copy of his new album delivered to his door along with some candid photos he had taken of her in the studio. He almost ripped them up and threw them in the fireplace that was burning but for some dumb reason he decided against it. He even tried to go out for a walk, putting his hoodie on because it had been raining but even his clothes smelled like her. He missed her but there was no use in missing someone who didn't care. He sat down at his small kitchen table and tried to eat some food he had ordered from room service but he just wasn't hungry. Suddenly his cell phone rang. He glanced at the caller ID. It was Angie.

Angie never called anymore or seemed to be that interested in Craig like she used to. Perhaps it was because she wasn't little anymore and wasn't in awe of her older brother like most children are. Maybe it was the fact she was teased for being related to him in school or because she had boys on her mind but whatever the case calls from his little sister were far and few. He really didn't feel like talking to anyone but because of this he made an exception. "Hello?" he said somewhat lackluster. "Hey! Its Angie just seeing how my big brother is. Joey said you called," she repiled. _Guess she knows. Some example I am. _"Yeah well I'm not too proud of myself right now Ang but at least I'll get to see more of you guys right?" he said trying not to sound too depressed. "Right. Craig we still love you. Now moving on I need to ask you a favor," Angie asked. "See i knew you ahd to be calling me for a special reason! You know Joey gets mad at me when I give you money," he said playfully. "No its not money. Look outside your window," she said. "What?" he asked. "Please Craig. Just look outside your window. Its very important," she said again. "Umm okay," he replied confused. He opened up his balcony door and looked over the rail. Ashley was standing there with a ukaleli wearing a pea coat and Mickey Mouse slippers. "I'll call you back," he said hanging up.

"What are you doing?" he yelled as people passed by her on the street looking at her strangely as well. "Saying I'm sorry," she said loudly. "That's nice and all but I have to finish packing. I'm leaving tomorrow for Vanceour now if you'll excuse me," he shouted heading back inside. "Please. Just wait... hear me out. I rode a bike for almost 30 minutes down here. You said I'm always running well here I am for once I'm chasing after you," she screamed. He turned back around. He was interested to see waht she had to say. "I love you. Its taken me months to say it but I've always felt it. And I'm sorry for everything. Looking back at everything and thinking about losing you for good its made me see I haven't always been there for you. You've been so good to me and you make me happy. I'm not a lovey dovey sappy person so I wouldn't be saying all this if you weren't worth it but I need you Craig Manning. And I love you. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I don't care if you're married to Manny but if its possible I would like it if you two would get a divorce cause I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We may be crazy and we may be dysfunctional but I love you and we need each other. Don't go. Stay. And if that's not enough than maybe this is," she explained. She began to play the ukulele.

Everything she was saying we starting to sink in. He couldn't believe it. Was this a dream? Had she really gone through all this trouble to prove how she really felt? He could feel himself caving in. She began to sing:

_oh, why you look so sad?__  
__tears are in your eyes__  
__come on and come to me now__  
__don't be ashamed to cry__  
__let me see you through__  
__'cause i've seen the dark side too__  
__when the night falls on you__  
__you don't know what to do__  
__nothing you confess__  
__could make me love you less___

_i'll stand by you__  
__i'll stand by you__  
__won't let nobody hurt you__  
__i'll stand by you___

_so if you're mad, get mad__  
__don't hold it all inside__  
__come on and talk to me now__  
__hey, what you got to hide?__  
__i get angry too__  
__well i'm a lot like you__  
__when you're standing at the crossroads__  
__and don't know which path to choose__  
__let me come along__  
__'cause even if you're wrong_

_i'll stand by you__  
__i'll stand by you__  
__won't let nobody hurt you__  
__i'll stand by you__  
__take me in, into your darkest hour__  
__and i'll never desert you__  
__i'll stand by you__  
_

As she continued to sing it began to rain. She kept playing and singing. He shook his head "Are you crazy?! Its starting to rain!" he yelled back. "So?" she said." So don't you think this a little much?" he shouted. "What's that? Another song!" she yelled back holding her hand to her ear. "You're getting wet!" he called still amazed at her determination. She smiled and started another song.

_Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye... __  
__Maybe I was wrong for tryin' to pick a fight __  
__I know that I've got issues __  
__But you're pretty messed up too _

_  
Either way, I found out I'm nothing without you _

Oh great. Kelly Clarkson. How true it was though. he thought. He wanted to laugh. She started to twirl around and dance. People kept looking at her as if she was crazy. He rolled his eyes as she continued,

_'Cause we belong together now, yeah __  
__Forever united here somehow, yeah __  
__You got a piece of me __  
__And honestly, __  
__My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you...._

She started to point at him as she played the bridge.

"Enough already! Do you want to come in?" he asked trying not to sound too impressed by her gesture. Still he was glad she had come up with this whole scheme. It must have taken a lot for her to muster up enough courage to do this. He hated her for making him not be mad at her anymore. She grinned. "No. I'm not coming up. You come down here!" she yelled as it started to thunder.

"Seriously come in. Its getting bad out there. You're gonna get sick!" he said. "So you care if I get sick huh?" she said now soaked. He was sure she had thought she had won.

"I'm still mad at you but I'm not cruel. Hot chocolate might be involved but hey its your choice. " he added shrugging. "Fine. I'll take what I can get," she said heading inside. He shook his head again. "Damn you woman!" he said as he grabbed a blanket.


	23. I'll Be Back

Author's Note: Thanks for the review! It always motivates me to write the next chapters quicker so keep them coming! Especially for this one! I didn't rate it M for nothing! I hope you guys like it! Enjoy!

**Chapter 23 "I'll Be Back"**

**You know, if you break my heart I'll go  
But I'll be back again  
'cause I told you once before goodbye  
But I came back again**

I love you so, oh  
I'm the one who wants you  
Yes I'm the one who wants you  
oh, ho, oh, ho, oh

**This time I will try to show that I'm  
Not trying to pretend****…**

Ashley stretched out her legs towards the warm fireplace as Craig approached her with a mug full of hot chocolate. She hadn't expected for Craig to invite her up. In fact she didn't know how he would react to her grand gesture but somehow she figured he wasn't going to let her off of the hook so easily. She held her hands together rubbing them for warmth. She hated to think of what she looked like probably like a wet chicken but hey it was all in the name of love.

He handed her a cup without saying a word, just standing in front of her, hovering. He was waiting for her to say something but in her mind she had said everything she needed to say. What more could he want she wondered? She wrapped the blanket closer around her careful not to reveal anything. She wished she had worn something more appropriate other a stupid nightgown.

"Thanks for the marshmallows. Three big ones you remembered I hate the little ones," she replied smiling down into the cup putting her hair behind her ear. The seriousness on his face made her a bit uncomfortable.

"We can't keep doing this," he said all of a sudden. She paused and bit her lip.

"Doing what?" she asked now looking at him.

"This. Everything. This isn't how its supposed to be Ash. This is not how its supposed to be," he added walking around.

"What are you saying?" she demanded standing up.

"I'm saying we've been hurting each other for too long. I know I've done some things. Really horrible things but maybe I've never been able to forgive you," he explained.

Her mind went blank as she tried to understand what he was saying. "Forgive me? For what? Maybe I'm not the easiest person to deal with but I've always been good to you," she asked. He sighed.

"See this is exactly what I'm talking about. You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea," Craig said sitting down. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"No. I'm sorry. If you have something to say I need to hear it," Ashley said grabbing his arm.

"Do you want the truth? The real honest to God truth?" he asked. She nodded her head yes.

"I know I've hurt you and I'm sorry for everything but I'm tired of always being the bad guy. Ashley you hurt me. Really really hurt me. Not once, not twice, but three times. Three times. Do you know what that does to a person? Do you know how worthless I felt. You left me for my best friend. You left and didn't even tell me the first time. You always leave me when I need you most. If you love someone you don't do that. Am I that awful? Am I that bad of a person? I tried to kill myself a lot over the years because of you and then when it didn't work I just ended up hating you. Or least I thought I did. But you know what? I still love you. Honestly I don't know how to fix all of this. You and I both know this isn't the same as was with Jimmy or Manny, its real. So why can't we get it right? Why do we always end up here?" he said looking straight ahead.

She had never seen him look so sad. She wondered if that was how he looked every time she had left him behind. Tears began to ran down her cheek. Her chest burned. She could hardly breathe. It was as if she had gotten hit by a huge Mack truck. For the first time she really realized how much she had hurt him. She had done just as much damage as he did. She kneeled over to him and touched his hand.

"Maybe its because I've never really tried. I never really gave us a real chance. . I'm pretty screwed up. I've always been screwed up but not anymore. I love you and I'm sorry for everything but I'm not giving up on us. I'm not going to run away. That's what you'll be doing if you leave so please... please don't go to Vancouver. Stay here. There are great rehab programs here. Your friends are here. I'm here... and I don't want you to go. You're the love of my life. I need you... stay," she begged. He looked at her for a long time before answering. Ashley felt her heart sank. It was going to be a no.

"I don't know. My things are packed.

"Well we can unpack them," she replied.

"Its not that simple Ash. Give me some time. Let me sleep on it," he said.

She wiped her eyes. "Fair enough," she mumbled a little shaken. "Fair enough." she echoed.

"Come on its getting late. I'll take you home," Craig replied getting up to grab his keys. She couldn't let it end. Not tonight. Not like this. She hesitated for a moment. "

I don't want to go home," she said. He gave her a confused look.

She grabbed him and kissed him as hard as she could. He pulled back for a second making her wonder what he was thinking. Hell she didn't care.

_God just kiss me again_. she thought.

He pulled her closer and kissed her again this time more forcefully. The blanket covering her slowly fell below her onto the floor. At this point she didn't care what she looked like. Okay maybe she didn't look as bad at she thought seeing as how Craig's eyes would wander further down her body every now and then. She figured her nightgown probably clung to her body pretty snuggly. She took advantage of this admiration and pulled his shirt off quickly.

They continued to kiss his hands now sliding up her thighs as he pulled her against the wall, pressing their bodies against one another. She moaned a little, barely audible as he very softly touched her underneath her underwear. He could still see a few water droplets on her skin from the rain which was driving him wild. He traced him with finger one underneath her strap making it fall down. Maybe this was a bad idea. His therapist warned him about having sex during recovering but this wasn't sex, this was Ashley. Surely she'd pull back, she had been doing that for months. She had revealed so much. Baring her soul and apologizing, he was greatful enough for that but he didn't want to stop. He couldn't and by the way she was responding to his touch he knew she felt the same.

"I want you," she said as if she were almost purring like a cat as he slowly trailed down her neck.

He loved how she did that during intimate moments. It was so sexy.

Her knees felt as though they were jelly. She felt like she could barely even stand. Luckily he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. She could feel his heart racing and pounding. She wondered if he could feel hers about to jump out of her chest as well.

They stumbled into his bedroom and instantly she fell back on his bed. He pushed up her gown a little as he climbed on top of her and kissed her. "I love you. We don't have to do any of this if you don't want to but God I want to. I really want to Ashley," he said out of breath staring into her eyes almost begging. _Hey at least he was being honest,_ she thought. She laughed a little.

"I love you too. Now how's this for a answer?" she said kissing him back and then lifting her gown up slowly and seductively. Craig watched her carefully and examined her body. She was only wearing a pair of lacey underwear. Craig was almost speechless and now really turned on. She had definitely matured in more ways than one over the years. "Wow," he mouthed as eyeing every inch of her body. Ashley blushed. For the first time in her life she felt incredibly sexy. She pulled him closer and removed the rest of his clothes.

"You can do whatever you want to me," she whispered slowly nibbling at his neck as he kissed her breasts. His hand rested in between her legs gently moving as they both breathed more heavily. She closed her eyes. The warmth and sensation of his breath and his body felt so good against her olive skin. He grinned.

"Really? Are you sure? Because I want to do this," he said suddenly moving down to her hips. She moaned a little as he kissed her stomach and then trailed down.


	24. Come Together

**Chapter 24 "Come Together"**

Ashley peered outside the bathroom door as she clutched her cell phone in her hand. Craig was still fast asleep. She smiled a little. He looked so peaceful clutching his pillow and yawning. "Ms. Kerwin? are you there?" the lady said loudly. "Sorry. I'm here," she said.

"Look's like everything went through. You should be receiving a conformation in your email soon," the woman said.

"Great," Ashley whispered. "We thank you for your business and have a great day!" the woman replied.

Ashley hung up the phone and tip toed out back into the bedroom. She slowly eased back onto the bed and laid down. It was freezing cold and she had forgotten how Craig always hogged the covers. Luckily he was always a cuddler. She snuggled up against him and naturally he wrapped his arm over her.

She liked all of this. It was nice to feel wanted, having someone to be with and talk to. She had waited too long for this and she didn't want to give it up. She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. This wasn't going to be easy. She knew him too well. He was going to want to stay for her but she couldn't be that selfish. Tears started to run down her cheek.

"Damn it Ashley. Pull yourself together," she mumbled turning over to her side a little. She was gonna wake him with all that wimpering but she couldn't help it. The thought of being seperated away from Craig again was too much.

He moved a little and she wiped her eyes sniffling a bit. She could tell he was waking up. _Keep it together, Ashley._ she thought as she tried to grab the covers.

"Good morning sunshine," he said sleepily kissing the top of her head. "Hey," she whispered trying to sound normal still wiping her eyes. "What? No morning kiss?" he asked pulling her hair back and kissing her neck.

She rolled over towards him. He could see she had been crying, her eyes still glistening with a little water. "Hey there. Is everything okay? I heard you get up a few times," he said still groggy.

"Couldn't sleep. I guess its just my emotions and last night getting the best of me," she explained. He grabbed her hand.

"Well this might cheer you up. I thought about it and I decided I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna stay here for you," he told her. She sat up and sighed.

"I was afraid you'd say that," she softly said putting her hands on her face. He sat up looking confused at her.

"But I thought you wanted me to stay and after last night," Craig added.

"I do want you to stay and I didn't intend for that to happen last night. It was great and wonderful. God it was wonderful but I don't want you to think I did that to make you stay." she said.

"I don't think any girl who was wearing Mickey Mouse slippers intends to seduce someone," Craig joked. His face grew a little more serious when he noticed she didn't laugh.

"What I'm trying to say is that, I think you should go back to Vancouver," she blurted out.

"Wow," he uttered scratching his head.

"I thought about it and it was selfish to ask you to stay especially when you're making the effort to get better. You've got too many distractions here... mainly me. Besides Joey and Angie can watch out for you better than I ever could. You know how I worry Craig. And me. Its hard for me to admit this I'm not right all the way. I need some time to get my head straight," she said.

He was silent for a while deep in thought.

"You know if I leave we won't see each other for at least a month. I mean we're just getting back right," he argued.

"You said we can't keep doing this, right? We're never gonna be right if we don't deal with ourselves first. I got you a plane ticket to Vancouver. You leave Monday," she added.

"Monday?!" he blurted. Her face winced a little. "Sorry," he mumbled.

He shook his and didn't say anything for a while again. Maybe buying the ticket was a little extreme but maybe he would get what she was trying to say.

"Non-refundable?" he asked finally breaking his silence.

"Non-refundable," she repeated.

"I don't think I can do this alone though. I mean Ash, this is my fourth time in rehab. This si going to be everywhere and then the trial. Its like the world is watching and waiting for me to fail," he explained.

"You're not going to fail and you're not alone. You've got all of your family and friends. And you've got me. And hey I can come visit you! And you call me, text me, write. Whatever you want," she added grabbing his hand.

"But its at least 30 days without you. How do I know you won't find someone new like some French Canadian douche?" he joked. She laughed.

"I'd never date a French Canadian and besides I told you I'm not going anywhere. I told you I'd spend the rest of my life making everything up to you if I had to, remember?" Ashley explained. He smiled.

"The rest of your life? That has a nice ring to it," he said. "Yeah the rest of my life," she said grinning and then kissing him.

'Well how about you start making it up to me again?" he suggested grabbing her and pulling her in closer.

They kissed again before she pushed him over on his back and then suddenly straddled him. A small smirk emerged from his lips as she pinned him down with her hair falling down. He tucked it behind her ear and grabbed her face pressing his lips hard against hers. He began to unbutton the dress shirt of his she was wearing. She tilted her head back as he kissed her neck and let out a huge breath.

Her phone began to ring. Craig sighed. "Don't answer," he replied as she looked over at her cell phone which about to fall off the nightstand. She leaned in kissed him and brought her lips to his ear. "Maybe later. Its probably Paige," she whispered reaching over him and answering it.

"Hello," Ashley cooed as she began buttoning her shirt back up.

"Ashley where the hell are you?" Paige screamed.

"I'm at Craig's. I feel asleep on the couch. I'll be there in a hour," Ashley said as Craig kissed her neck again and started to undo all the buttons again.

"An hour! I need you here as soon as possible! I can't do this all alone. Darcy's freaking out, the cake is not here and Marco not even halfway done with all bridesmaids' hair yet!" Paige yelled.

"Don't worry everything will be fine. I'll be there shortly," Ashley said slapping Craig's hands and trying not to laugh as he nibbled on her ear but it was no good.

"Wait a minute! You guys didn't?! Or did you?" she asked.

"Paige!" Ashley screamed.

"Oh my god, you did! Details when you get here but seriously get your ass here! NOW" Paige said hanging up. Ashley shook her head.

"Now where were we?" Craig asked kissing her again. She squealed as he tickled her.

"Craig! Do you know how embarrassing that was!" she stated still laughing a little.

"And?" he said kissing her stomach.

"And I'm late for the wedding. I gotta go," she said rolling over and getting up.

"Let's just sleep in all day and do nothing. We only have one more day left with each other," he said.

"You and I have a very different idea of what sleeping in all day is. Besides our friends are getting married today. And you should be getting dressed too!" she explained going into his closet pulling out a suit.

"Spinner and Darcy probably hate me. And you too. We kind of made a scene yesterday," he replied as Ashley lied out his clothes.

"They don't hate me. I have a kick ass surprise to make it up to them and they don't hate you either. As long as you apologize and show up today. Now if you'll excuse me," she explained walking to the bathroom.

"So, do you really think this is the right thing? Me leaving and us being separated?" he asked now all serious.

"Its only for a little bit until things settle down. We're gonna be fine. Stop worrying. Now I'm going to take a shower. I'm already an hour late," she stated giving him a quick kiss.

"Want some company?" he asked winking. She threw her phone at him.


	25. Oh! Darling

**_Sorry its been so long everyone! My life has been insane the past few months! Sorry for any errors I will come back and edit! I just really wanted to post the next chapter real bad!!!!_**

**Chapter 25 "Oh! Darling"**

_Oh! Darling, please believe me  
I'll never do you no harm  
Believe me when I tell you  
I'll never do you no harm_

Oh! Darling, if you leave me  
I'll never make it alone  
Believe me when I beg you  
Don't ever leave me alone

**Ch**urch bells rang out loudly as Spinner took one last look at himself in the mirror and sighed. 30 more minutes and he would be saying his wedding vows in front of all his friends and family. He couldn't believe it, the day had finally come to marry the girl he loved. He smiled to himself as thought of Darcy and how far they had come over the past year. He smoothed his hands over his tux and readjusted his bow tie. _God, was Darcy this nervous too? he wondered. _Letting out a huge breath, he heard a heavy pound on the door. It was Craig. He walked into the room adorned in a black tux wearing his usual Ray-bans.

"Don't worry you look good but not as good as me," Craig said removing his sunglasses and spinning around. Spinner grinned and rushed over to him. "Very funny! Get over here! Didn't think you'd show up man," Spinner said giving him a bear hug.

"Couldn't leave one of my best friends hanging," he said handing him a white envelope.

"What's this?" Spinner asked. Craig slyly smiled.

"Just a wedding present and an apology for making such an awful scene yesterday. Go ahead. Open it up!" he said waving his arms around like a little child.

"Okayyy," Spinner replied looking at him a little bewildered.

He tore open the envelope which contained a special card with Craig's handwriting (or rather chicken scratch in Spinner's opinion). He studied it for a while before handing it back. "Dude I totally can't read your writing! " he replied.

"St. Bart's! One week. All expenses paid." Craig announced.

"What?! You're joking right?" Spinner said somewhat excited.

"Yeah, my record company has a timeshare for artists and since my contract is expunged in a few weeks I figured I better use it soon. You know stick it to the man," he explained.

Spinner was still in shock.

"Dude seriously? I mean you should take Ashley. Darcy and I...we can't accept a gift this expensive!" he said handing it back.

"First of all how'd you know me and Ashley got back together?" Craig asked walking around the room. Spinner laughed.

"This gift wasn't the only reason you wanted to talk to me. That smirk and that swagger give away all the details of last night." Craig shook his head.

Besides you guys always get back be told I always thought you guys would get married before I ever did!" he revealed.

Craig raised his eyebrow. "Seriously? I guess you don't remember that disasterous proposal back in high school." Craig nervously joked while messing with various things on the mantel.

It was rare for Craig to talk about that whole incident or anything partaining to the discovery of his bipolarism. Spinner hadn't heard him mention it since high school.

" So what? That was then and this is guys love each other, right? Come on, I know you've thought about it. Dude, you're the only guy I know who has planned his perfect wedding from the age of eight. From the perfect location right down to flowers, the dinner plates, and the napkins." Spin said as Craig kept walking slowly around the wall.

"Ok so I'm a romantic, but what's wrong with that? But the facts are Ashley doesn't want to get married. She asked me to go back to Vancouver and go to rehab while she works on her 'issues'. She should want me to stay right? She claims she's a 'distraction'," he explained.

"Well there is some truth to that. You've always been so love drunk when it comes to Ash. She's hurting too. I mean being abused by Jimmy and the baby's death. She was going through that all alone. I just wish she would have told us," Spinner said sadly.

"I know but still," he added.

"She's doing all this because she loves you. People never get as many chances as you," he explained.

"Ten years. We've been at this for ten years Spin, don't think I haven't thought about marrying her but..." Craig replied.

"But what? Look don't waste another second. Man up and get yourself together. Darcy means the world to me Craig and each day I have with her....well I don't want to take it for granted. Life is too short. You never know what might happen, " he said tearing up turning his back to Craig.

Craig didn't know what to say or do. He had never seen Spinner this emotional before.

"Spin, are you okay?" Craig asked watching him wipe his face.

"Just the nerves man, nerves..." he said pulling himself together.

"Well, I certainly don't want you to take this trip for granted. Take it, please. I would be insulted if you didn't," he said putting the envelope back in his hands.

"Fine but seriously Craig don't waste another second. I mean it. Promise me," he demanded.

"Ok... I promise," Craig said softly hugging Spinner.

Just then a knock emerged from the door. Ashley peaked her head inside the door as Paige walked right in.

"We're starting to line up downstairs in ten minutes so make the chit chat spiffy," Paige said.

Craig smiled right at Ashley. She smiled back darting her eyes down a little.

"Actaully I _am_ feeling a little parched," Spinner replied grinning shamelessly at Craig. He looked at Ashley and then back at him. Craig gave him an annoyed glare.

"Well you are looking a little flushed. Here try some of my powder!" Paige suggested reaching into her purse.

"I'm not putting on any makeup! " he yelled.

"Lots of men wear makeup!" Paige argued as they walked out the door.

Ashley shook her head.

"Thank God those two aren't getting married," Ashley said walking in.

"Come here you," Craig motioned. Ashley came over and took his hand. "You look absolutely beautiful," he said spinning her around in her red dress.

"You know if my boyfriend found out about you, he'd be very jealous," she added kissing him. He grinned.

"Well he's going to be very jealous when he finds out where I'm taking you tomorrow," he told her.

Ashley looked confused. "Where are you taking me?" she asked somewhat excited.

"That's actually a good question. I haven't decided yet but trust me I have something very important in store for the afternoon but its still a surprise so don't think about asking me again. My lips are sealed," Craig explained as they began to walk out of the room.

"Seriously? You're not going to tell me?" she asked pouting a little.

"Nope," he said amused. She rolled her eyes and then laughed.

"Well anyways I just wanted to hi. We might not get to see each other that much today since I'm officially on wedding duty but I might be able to save a dance for you," Ashley explained.

"Really? Cause I don't dance," he teased.

"Fine, have it your way but I've got a surprise of my own tonight. Just you wait and see," she said poking him in the chest.

"You know why don't we just skip the wedding and head to the janitor's closet?" Craig suggested. Suddenly the smile on her face dropped. "What?" he asked.

" Yeah I don't think so and you know what? Go find your seat and stop harassing me! she joked back. He grabbed her and kissed her again making her feel lightheaded inside. They continued to kiss for a while before she pulled back.

"Okay, seriously go. The wedding is about to start at any minute," Ashley begged wiping his stained mouth.

"Fine, fine but this isn't over!" he yelled.

"Bye!" she waved swiftly shaking her head. He blew her a kiss and headed off to the sancturary.

She hated to admit it but she loved every little corny moment she had with Craig. As she smiled to herself she saw Paige walking back into the hallway carrying a huge yellow envelope.

"What's that?" Ashley asked.

"I was about to ask you the same question. Its for you. Doesn't say who its from," she said handing her the package.

Ashley looked puzzled as she opened it. There was a note attached to a DV-R.

"_Seeing is believing. Don't trust anything Craig tells you."_


End file.
